Friday, August 01, 2008

Se Habla Español - Or We'll Find Someone Who Does

Another Yellow Pages arrived yesterday. I don't know if this is a REAL Yellow Pages, a Best Read Yellow Pages, or what. It says "Verizon Yellow Pages" on the cover. What I do know is it is full of personal injury attorney ads, like all Yellow Pages. Front cover. Insider front cover. Inside back cover. Back cover. Even a couple of those bookmark style super-glossy full pagers. But the winner of the Personal Injury Yellow Pages Ads Awards goes to this man, who paid for a magnet affixed to the front of the front cover, covering the front cover ad of another personal injury attorney firm. You have to love that accidental look on his face. And he's got all the personal injury bases covered, including the now popular "Aggressive" lawyer adjective. You can even meet with him personally.

The Yellow Pages people are a stubborn bunch. Encyclopedia salesmen got the message early on. Travel agencies realized their day was done. Video production houses are feeling the heat. Even the guy making horse whips for buggy drivers had to find another job eventually. But as long as personal injury attorneys are paying for full-cover, full-color ads, I guess they'll keep making these giant volumes of useless information available in other places. I have not used a Yellow Pages in years. To the recycle bin with this trash.

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  • That's probably one of the worst examples of "hey, let's use a catchy slogan for our web address, even though it doesn't mention the name of the company at all !" I've seen yet. Yeesh...

    By Anonymous Ripley, at August 1, 2008 at 10:07 AM  

  • And what about the name--Pierce & Stake Em? Got to be fake. Speaking of fake, photo is def. stock art, don't you think? "Sorry Mr. StakeEm is on trial just now but one of our ugly attorneys is available for consult..." Love that this guy is so "aggressive" he covers up his competitor's space buy. Thanks for the laugh.

    By Blogger Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising, at August 1, 2008 at 10:08 AM  

  • Ad Broad:

    Apparently Mr. SteakUm is also a male model.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at August 1, 2008 at 10:27 AM  

  • This could double as a male escort ad. Hell, the phone number's perfect for it.

    By Anonymous M.M.McDermott, at August 1, 2008 at 10:43 AM  

  • What I don't get is how there can possibly be market support for the three or four massive Yellow Pages that I get (and don't use)... unless people who keep their phonebooks are likely to be injured by them and that's how the accident lawyer stays in business?

    By Anonymous Cleanser, at August 1, 2008 at 10:54 AM  

  • his toll-free number sounds like something for male enhancement.

    By Blogger HighJive, at August 1, 2008 at 11:00 AM  

  • Um, what's up with his eyes? Is he possessed? Or holding a seance? Or praying for more accidents?

    By Anonymous mydogischelsea, at August 1, 2008 at 4:31 PM  

  • Paper yellow pages are dead. As everyone knows by now, video is very exciting. I think in the next few years people will discover that video is appropriate for certain areas of the consumer market, right now it seems like everyone wants to use video for everything. I think the small business arena will benefit the most from video which is pretty much the thesis behind

    By Blogger George, at August 2, 2008 at 2:51 PM  

  • Look people, he's got the blue steel look, has frosted hair and is not only aggressive, but firm.

    "Meet with me personally"? At what motel bubby?

    By Blogger Joker, at August 4, 2008 at 3:00 PM  

  • If every lawyer does this in the yellow pages, it will be a big problem. already is! I pity the good ones who drown in these kinds of ads. i have a nasty feeling that this lawyer will employ the same "aggressive" approach if he makes a video.

    By Anonymous Tom St. Louis, at June 18, 2009 at 9:27 AM  

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