Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stock Photography Mystery

Is she really going out with him?
This picture, found on the Bahamas Tourism Site, features an unlikely couple. Here we have a woman of model-quality beauty riding piggy-back on what looks like a balding and sunburned soccer hooligan. Her left middle finger stimulates his right nipple.

Shallow bastard that I am, this messes with my head. It simply cannot be. I would not have paired these two models on a photo shoot and I'm not believing the photographer's/art director's suggestion that they are together. I must find an alternate explanation. I propose the following possibilities:

A) He is her eunuch and she said, "Fetch me from the water"
B) He is the photographer's brother
C) He's enduring a vacation in the "friend zone"
D) He's really, really rich
E) She's drunk and he's a lifeguard
F) They are brother and sister behaving inappropriately for their ages
G) She's a prostitute and he's the client

Your suggestions welcome in the comments, as long as you don't give me some bullshit about "love is blind." Also, women suggesting "he's a catch" will be considered soccer hooligan groupies.

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  • ok...bear with me here. That is Jeff and Karen. Jeff is the boyfriend of Karen's ugly girlfriend Rachel. Jeff's buddy Steve (lucky bastard) lives in an apartment complex with this sweet pool (it's not the Bahamas). Karen has an idea to play 'chicken' but the couples switch partners (Karen's idea). Unfortunately, Rachel is a bit overweight and Steve only landed Rachel because he's loaded (eg - he's not very strong). Jeff and Karen quickly defeat them. Jeff is working through some angst because Steve told him the 'blind date' with Karen's girlfriend would be fun and that Rachel is 'really cute'. While Steve is underwater, Jeff is groping Karen. In any event, this photo was taken by a freelance photographer who also lives in the apartment complex and was able to sell this photo without telling the unsuspecting foursome about his intentions.

    By Blogger thompanilla, at January 15, 2009 at 12:49 PM  

  • Johnny:

    That was awesome. Now lay off the energy drinks.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at January 15, 2009 at 12:58 PM  

  • They're siamese twins.

    Or she lost a bet.

    By Blogger Teenie, at January 15, 2009 at 1:07 PM  

  • She has had an accident that left her blind and paraplegic and her face twisted into a perpetual laugh. Her wheelchair is at the shop, which was out of replacement wheelies, so that they provided her with a personal people carrier, aka the guy who owes the repair shop owner a ton of money. He doesn't like to hoist her around and she isn't too comfortable with this arrangement, either, but what choice do they have? Don't delude yourself into thinking that they'll ever end up in love, "Bodyguard" style. He's gay and she is a real snob who would never date a minion.

    By Blogger textferry, at January 15, 2009 at 1:31 PM  

  • Ugly guys are often hung like boas. It's the way nature compensates those for which traditional good looks are in short supply.

    Or, she is impressed with his abs.

    By Anonymous Bill Geist, at January 15, 2009 at 10:02 PM  

  • The coder grabbed the wrong image.

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at January 16, 2009 at 8:15 PM  

  • She is a Red Sox fan on vacation. Consistent with bad decisions all through her life, she loves a Dustin Pedroiaesque level douche.

    By Anonymous Catcher In The Rye, at January 17, 2009 at 3:42 AM  

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