The Foribidden Land

Here's a Cuban tourism ad that airs in Canada. You see, Americans aren't allowed to travel to Cuba because we are still punishing Fidel Castro for being a bad man in like, 1959 or something, when he and that one actor, Benicio Del Toro, rode around the countryside on motorcycles, terrorizing the folks. 50 years later and Fidel is still in power in the country that has become a living time capsule, free from modernization and, many will tell you, free from freedom. Can't we all just get along? "No!" the powerful Cuban lobby in Miami will tell you, "We cannot!" But I'm from that naïve school that says you can talk to your "enemies" and even visit their countries.

It's not all glittery like the other Caribbean countries where you're used to your cruise ship docking. And that's half the allure.

And for the time being, this blog will go with a green scheme in solidarity with our other enemy, the Iranian people.

What Recession?

Shop and Travel, Friends!

And you can do them both on this big beautiful giant floating Las Vegas of a bloated behemoth.

The word's largest cruise ship, Freedom of the Seas, sets sail from Port Canaveral today.

Previously in "I Hate the Cruise Industry":

Cruise Industry Hit Hard This Year

Stock Photography Mystery

This picture, found on the Bahamas Tourism Site, features an unlikely couple. Here we have a woman of model-quality beauty riding piggy-back on what looks like a balding and sunburned soccer hooligan. Her left middle finger stimulates his right nipple.

Shallow bastard that I am, this messes with my head. It simply cannot be. I would not have paired these two models on a photo shoot and I'm not believing the photographer's/art director's suggestion that they are together. I must find an alternate explanation. I propose the following possibilities:

A) He is her eunuch and she said, "Fetch me from the water"
B) He is the photographer's brother
C) He's enduring a vacation in the "friend zone"
D) He's really, really rich
E) She's drunk and he's a lifeguard
F) They are brother and sister behaving inappropriately for their ages
G) She's a prostitute and he's the client

Your suggestions welcome in the comments, as long as you don't give me some bullshit about "love is blind." Also, women suggesting "he's a catch" will be considered soccer hooligan groupies.

Mommy, There's a Man in My Pants

"I know, sweetie! And I've got a masseuse on my boob."

Club Med is doing some weird stuff these days.

"Let's wash out the mom and kid's clothes and put scenes of vacationing people on them!"

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