Stock Photography Mystery

This picture, found on the Bahamas Tourism Site, features an unlikely couple. Here we have a woman of model-quality beauty riding piggy-back on what looks like a balding and sunburned soccer hooligan. Her left middle finger stimulates his right nipple.

Shallow bastard that I am, this messes with my head. It simply cannot be. I would not have paired these two models on a photo shoot and I'm not believing the photographer's/art director's suggestion that they are together. I must find an alternate explanation. I propose the following possibilities:

A) He is her eunuch and she said, "Fetch me from the water"
B) He is the photographer's brother
C) He's enduring a vacation in the "friend zone"
D) He's really, really rich
E) She's drunk and he's a lifeguard
F) They are brother and sister behaving inappropriately for their ages
G) She's a prostitute and he's the client

Your suggestions welcome in the comments, as long as you don't give me some bullshit about "love is blind." Also, women suggesting "he's a catch" will be considered soccer hooligan groupies.

Even Terrorists Need a Vacation

(Nassau, The Bahamas) The Tourism Board of The Bahamas has unveiled a new ad campaign that seeks to lure Palestinians to the Caribbean island chain.

"There's a lot of money being spent in Mediterranean tourist destinations," said Neko Grant, Minister of Tourism and Aviation, "And in the spirit of friendly competition that is common in the tourism industry, we will seek to draw those visitors to our tropical paradise."

The new campaign plays on the similarities between the name of the country and the name of a well-known and largely reviled militant Muslim organization. Asked if his country was perhaps being insensitive to the concerns of Israel or other entities opposed to Hamas, Minister Grant said, "We did some focus group testing among pro-Israelis. It wasn't pretty. But I like the joke the ads make. It's kind of cute, don't you think? Perhaps we will do another later that targets the people of Israel. I'm just riffing here, but how about something like The Bahamas...Iz really fun!"

Previously in Fake Bahamian Tourism News
Bahamas Changes Name