Suicide Thwarted by Old Spice

This two-page spread fairly jumps off the inside cover of this week's Rolling Stone. This is a 1968 photograph of the actress Faye Dunaway. She is sprawled out on a chair with her hand on a drink, eyes closed, dying fern symbolizing the imminent death of this poor, troubled soul while the Fires of Hell lick at the toes of her prepared for burial bare feet. The line above the strategically cut-off logo reads: "If Your Grandfather Hadn't Worn it, You Wouldnt Exist."

Notifying an already depressed woman that her grandma was a cheap tramp, lured to the bed of a guy just because he wore Old Spice, may not be the best way to cheer her up.

Or maybe I missed the point and this is your grandmother, and she's about to conceive your Mom or your Dad, making you possible someday, and you owe it to the dude who smells like Pinesol mixed with rotting wood, who builds a helluva fire.

As Scamp said, "What would I do if the Old Spice brief landed on my desk? Burst into tears, probably."

Continuing on their "Experience is Everything" theme, the Wieden & Kennedy kids have delivered this perplexing gem for a tired old brand. All colognes and aftershaves have always gone with the "Wear it and get some girly action" angle. W&K takes it to a new level*: Thank Old Spice for your very existence.

Most of this new cologne/bodyspray advertising is aimed at boys who don't even shave yet. I can attest that it is working. Every morning as we ride our bikes, we have to hold our breath as we pass the young swordsmen-in-training waiting for the schoolbus, a toxic cloud of mixed fragrances saturating the air around them. Can W&K make a dent in the Axe and Tag shares of the coveted middle-school masturbating demo? My guess is yes.

*"Takes it to a new level" is not to be considered an endorsement of "pushing the envelope" or any other "Agent of Change" cliche.

Previously in Old Spice