Girl Scout Cookies Filled with Crack

The Girl Scouts don't really know how to sell. They just show up at your door and your mouth waters and you buy some of their cookies. Or their Moms or Dads do the "selling" for them at work. And you rarely buy just one box. And at $3.50 (up $1 from a decade ago) for a tiny box, you're getting hosed bigtime. But you don't care. It's an addiction. Not sure what the organization is paying per box, but the consumer is paying, in some cases, 23 cents per cookie.

But you say to yourself, "66% of Women of Professional Achievement were Girl Scouts at some point in their youth," or you remind yourself that 71.4% of women in the U. S. Senate and 67.1% of the women in the House of Representatives today are Girl Scout alumnae.

Then when you run out of the cookies, the little salesgirls are camped out in front of Home Depot or your local supermarket with their leftover "surplus."

They don't advertise. They just show up. And they make $700 million a year. That's pretty impressive. Boy Scouts can't touch those numbers with their crappy popcorn sales. It's an American tradition that we look forward to every year. And the cookies are gone way too soon. If the Girl Scouts got smart, they'd have more than one selling season.

Not sure why this 1932 cover of The Country Gentleman featured a troop of Girl Scouts hiking up a hill, but it's a mildly disturbing cover image for a men's magazine. The Country Pedophile, maybe.