Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Alec Baldwin, Master of Damage Control













Thanks to everyone who has shown such wonderful support in this trying time as I deal with a certain unnamed psychotic and evil woman who hasn't had a role in a movie since Door in the Floor with Jeff Bridges, and who is always referred to in the press as having won an Oscar for a movie she did ten years ago. When they start talking about your career highlight being ten years old, you're pretty much a has-been, baby. I'm currently starring in a very successful sitcom on NBC. Also, I've hosted SNL more times than anyone in history. I was also in The Good Shepherd and The Departed, two very successful, and I might add, recent films.

I am deeply sorry for the way in which I behaved toward my daughter in that voicemail message everyone has heard, which a certain unnamed evil washed-up actress released to the media, even though she says she didn't, proving once again what I've been saying from the start; that some people are just liars and pathologically incapable of behaving correctly, and unable to recognize their own insanity.

I was wrong to have lashed out at my wonderful daughter, but as anyone who knows me will attest, I have lived in a virtual Hell for the last six years, while one of Satan's favorite minions, a certain unnamed blonde bimbo hacktress, has tormented me and alienated my child from me.

Once my book is published, I'm sure more people will understand the incredible strains created by parental alienation. It's a very real condition and practiced especially skillfully by a certain unnamed, insecure, worthless piece of crap and poor excuse for a mother who lives in LA with my daughter.

Do I have anger issues? I confess, I do. But you would too if you spent nearly 10 years with a certain unnamed lying psychotic bitch who then divorced you and drags your name through the mud at every opportunity, all the while pretending to play the caring, protective mother while she keeps your daughter from you. This is textbook parental alientation. And just between you and me - the sex wasn't that good.

In the meantime, I'm sorry to anyone who's taken offense from this episode.

(His real response is here)

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Sent into orbit at 2:37 PM

8 Comments:

  • So, did he actually respond somewhere in there?

    Man, there are some pathetic people out there - like, "we know the real you Alec, chin up!" Really, you know the "real" Alec Baldwin?? From watching the Pete's Schweaty Balls clip 800 times on your Best of SNL DVD? Give me a break.

    The only one that appears to be half way normal is the hot one from Backdraft (Billy?). And by normal I mean hasn't had a very public melt down on reality tv diet show or voicemail...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 25, 2007 at 3:27 PM  

  • Yeah - if you click on the words "alec responds to your comments" he has a personal message for his fans that isn't TOO different from the one I have here.

    I actually like Baldwin as a comedian. The Canteen Boy sketches are classic. And I actually do suspect that Basinger might be a psychopath. But what can you expect? - Hollywood romances aren't meant to last.

    I've got money on Angelina leaving Brad in the next 3 years.

    By Blogger RFB, at April 25, 2007 at 3:58 PM  

  • jetpacks my friend, I’ll take your statement over his.

    Baldwin also did a pretty decent Dinero in his Joe Pesce show SNL sketch. And his five minute ALWAYS BE CLOSING scene IS the movie in Glen Garry.

    But, he still went too far. Released on purpose or not, doesn't change the fact. Now, have I lost it with my daughter, sure. (She's 18 now) but she even heard this and said it wasn't bad. Granted, we don't know the other side of this and all that preceded his losing control--not excusing it either--but I've had this exact discussion with my daughter about the “phone I pay for needing to be on so I can reach you,” just not as harsh.

    And judging from other pics, she looks like a princess who probably plays the good parent/bad parent thing to a tee.

    Still, he has to know anything he says that's recorded is taking a big chance for him, especially if Kim's as pyscho as he says.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 25, 2007 at 5:47 PM  

  • Maybe we shouldn't expect our celebrities to be grown ups. It only leads to disappointment, and of course, publicity.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 25, 2007 at 10:03 PM  

  • I don't expect grown-ups. I expect politically active shitheads.

    Are YOU, Alec Baldwin, are no political activist.

    By Blogger James-H, at April 25, 2007 at 10:40 PM  

  • Thanks jetpacks, I'll check out his response.

    I think that both Alex and Kim are probably bonkers. Ireland has got to be about 5 years away from rehab.

    I hear you on the Brad Pitt/Angelina thing. He has yo-yo'd from weirdos (Juliette Lewis) to preps (Gwenyth Paltrow) to weirdos and back about four times. I think he's in a weirdo phase. They need to slow their roll on the adopting thing, 17 kids under 6 will ruin any marriage! I wonder who will drop who though... Can't wait to watch that one implode.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 26, 2007 at 10:58 AM  

  • I don't blame him for being angry, just for how he acted. Sometimes those salvos are better left unfired. You can't buy back a daughter. I can think of some similar psycho hosebeasts Debi Diane etc you know who you are

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 26, 2007 at 3:05 PM  

  • "Plus did I mention that Kim has Panic Disorder? No? Well OK, she also has Panic Disorder. BOO!"

    By Blogger copyranter, at April 27, 2007 at 12:14 PM  

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