Friday, February 01, 2008

My Growing List of People We Can Do Without

(ORLANDO, FL) In a rare demonstration of solidarity at a large corporate office in South Orlando, employees agreed to execute a man caught stealing from a 2nd floor refrigerator. The refrigerator sits in a common area and is used by employees to store lunches, drinks and assorted snacks. After a hasty in-house trial at which the accused offered no defense, volunteers took the man behind the building and shot him.

"In a large, corporate environment, it's easy to forget that the people around you share some of the same values and have the same convictions," said one member of the firing squad, "This execution has really brought us together as a team and we're looking forward to doing this again real soon."

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  • completely reasonable

    By Blogger FishNChimps, at February 1, 2008 at 12:13 PM  

  • you so don't mess with people's food. sometimes it's their only little ray of sunshine.

    By Blogger Thinking In Vain, at February 1, 2008 at 12:39 PM  

  • Only thing worse? Keying a man’s car.

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at February 1, 2008 at 1:45 PM  

  • Pretty humane... It's fucking Florida, the only state with more crazies than Texas... I'm only surprised they didn't feed him to the crocs in the Okie Fucking Fenokie, or whatever lamo name the local swamp has. If "Nosferatu Giuliani" had won the GOP primary, he could have sucked their blood out, then made the poor fucker wife number four. Or, they could have taken him down to little Cuba, tied him up in the shower, then chain sawed all his fucking limbs off... Al Paccino always makes such great "Art" movies. OK, time for my mid afternoon cocktail, enough of this shit.

    By Blogger George Parker, at February 1, 2008 at 4:20 PM  

  • Cheers, George, as I raise my bottle of MEXICAN beer toward the Northwest, to Idaho, to you, in your home state best known for white supremacy and gun-racks on pickups.

    So you are saying food and drink theft from the corporate 'fridge is OK?

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at February 1, 2008 at 7:12 PM  

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