My Growing List of People We Can Do Without

(ORLANDO, FL) In a rare demonstration of solidarity at a large corporate office in South Orlando, employees agreed to execute a man caught stealing from a 2nd floor refrigerator. The refrigerator sits in a common area and is used by employees to store lunches, drinks and assorted snacks. After a hasty in-house trial at which the accused offered no defense, volunteers took the man behind the building and shot him.

"In a large, corporate environment, it's easy to forget that the people around you share some of the same values and have the same convictions," said one member of the firing squad, "This execution has really brought us together as a team and we're looking forward to doing this again real soon."