Fish Out of Water: The Loneliest Man In Washington

Todd Palin: Fisherman. Oilman. Alaska Native.

I have two brothers-in-law from Alaska. They are man's man's men.

My youngest sister's husband, Ken, who works the oil fields on the North Slope (just like McCain's VP choice's husband) visited us here in Florida a few years back. Like the fisherman and former river guide that he is, Ken spent most of his time here standing on the banks of the canal behind our house, trying to assess the wildlife situation and attempting to get a lay of the land. Ken is a wild man. He loves nature and has a sense for what the animals and fish are doing.

Another of my sisters, less than 2 years younger than me, is very familiar with Sarah Palin. My sister personally campaigned very hard for Palin for the Governorship of Alaska and is herself involved in her local PTA, the very PTA network from which Palin launched her VP candidacy. She emailed my Dad this afternoon that she was "in tears" at the selection of Palin as McCain's VP. This sister's husband, Rob, is a bush pilot. In other words, Rob's job is to fly around the giant wilderness that is Alaska and basically have a great time.

Ken and Rob are great guys, and through them, I think I have a glimpse into what Todd Palin is about to endure. What I know about my brothers-in-law is what I know about Todd Palin. Alaskan males are pretty much a known species - and this man will not be happy at the Naval Observatory. This guy, who lives to fish and spends his spare time on the God-forsaken North Slope Oil Fields, will be losing his mind in Washington, DC.

If Dick Cheney is any example, my hope for Todd Palin (should his wife become the Vice-President of the United States) is that he will have full control of the US government to execute his every whim. What Todd Palin (former snowmobile champion and die-hard fisherman) is going to need is 24-hour access to a private plane that will fly him to Alaska whenever he says, "Fly, bitches!", a fleet of snowmobiles, and the guarantee that his job on the North Slope will never be given to illegal aliens.

This guy is hard core American independence, and the last place he needs to be is in Washington, DC. The fish of the Potomac are not going to satisfy Todd.