We Will be United by Grilled Chicken

I voted early. And while I like the fact that a vote is a private matter, I'll let you in on what I did.

I guess you can say I am a Communist, Socialist, Terrorist-loving America-hater now. (UPDATE: Who wants to kill babies. Thanks, Jim.)

I called my parents tonight as I was grilling. My mom already voted also. She is now a Fascist, Racist War-mongerer. Dad hasn't voted yet. He's on the fence. Both Mom and I tried to dissuade him from going over to the Dark Side, whichever side that may be.

My parents taught me to love America and to take our gifts here seriously, as my grandparents taught them. We can have fun, irreverent and jabbing debates, reiterating the talking points of our favorite partisan news networks. And we're still going to be family on November 5th. And we will all respect the President, whomever he may be. At least that's how it works in theory.

You get the point. The vitriol, hyperbole and rhetoric is temporary. In the end, win or lose, we're still in a representative democracy where everyone has a voice. We're not turning Fascist, and we're not turning Socialist. Lighten the fuck up, everybody.

And my Dad was intrigued by what I was grilling. (He taught me to love a grill.) It was an experiment, but it turned out OK.

• Start with three boneless, skinless breast of chicken
• Soak chicken in one bottle teriyaki marinade and one can of crushed pineapple for about an hour
• Throw on the grill
• Flip after a while
  
• Throw some more of that marinade on them
• If it gets dark, cut them open and see if they're done
• Flip if not, close the grill, pour another glass of wine
• Take off grill

Serve with horseradish rice* and salad.


* That was another experiment.