Things You Should've Learned a Long Time Ago
Or - 12* Things I Won't Miss About CubeWorldTM
- When two people are walking down a hall side-by-side in conversation and another person approaches going the opposite way, ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO STEP ASIDE SO I DON'T HAVE TO DUCK INTO A DOORWAY TO LET YOU PASS.
- I'm sure whomever you're talking to on your cellphone from the bathroom stall would love to know that YOU ARE TALKING TO THEM WHILE TAKING A CRAP.
- FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET, ASSHOLE.
- Your cologne/perfume needs to be used MORE SPARINGLY.
- Switching to Spanish from English when the non-Hispanic enters the area is RUDE.
- Could you possibly crunch your snack ANY LOUDER?
- We don't all love your music. They're called HEADPHONES.
- The meetings about meetings? They're a WASTE OF TIME and MONEY.
- It's going to take you a long time to clear your cube of all those personal belongings when they lay you off. IT'S WORK - NOT A SHRINE TO YOUR CHILDREN, CATS or BOYFRIEND.
- Gay guys - shut up with the gay sex humor. WE GET IT; YOU'RE GAY.
- Gay guys - quit complimenting the women. Straight guys get TAKEN TO H.R. FOR THAT.
- The morning gossip sessions about what you watched on TV last night need to be dialed down - SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.