Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Things You Should've Learned a Long Time Ago


Or - 12* Things I Won't Miss About CubeWorldTM

  1. When two people are walking down a hall side-by-side in conversation and another person approaches going the opposite way, ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO STEP ASIDE SO I DON'T HAVE TO DUCK INTO A DOORWAY TO LET YOU PASS.
  2. I'm sure whomever you're talking to on your cellphone from the bathroom stall would love to know that YOU ARE TALKING TO THEM WHILE TAKING A CRAP.
  3. FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET, ASSHOLE.
  4. Your cologne/perfume needs to be used MORE SPARINGLY.
  5. Switching to Spanish from English when the non-Hispanic enters the area is RUDE.
  6. Could you possibly crunch your snack ANY LOUDER?
  7. We don't all love your music. They're called HEADPHONES.
  8. The meetings about meetings? They're a WASTE OF TIME and MONEY.
  9. It's going to take you a long time to clear your cube of all those personal belongings when they lay you off. IT'S WORK - NOT A SHRINE TO YOUR CHILDREN, CATS or BOYFRIEND.
  10. Gay guys - shut up with the gay sex humor. WE GET IT; YOU'RE GAY.
  11. Gay guys - quit complimenting the women. Straight guys get TAKEN TO H.R. FOR THAT.
  12. The morning gossip sessions about what you watched on TV last night need to be dialed down - SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.
* Post #1,200 at Where's My Jetpack?

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Sent into orbit at 2:35 PM

8 Comments:

  • A fine, fine list. I think consideration technically dropped below sustainable levels in the early 80's. I'd personally like to suggest that crossing pedestrians who actually slow down when you approach in a vehicle are beyond rude and might need counseling.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2008 at 4:47 PM  

  • Dave,

    We had planned to call you back in January. Until we read this post, douchebag.

    The Management at CubeWorld™

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2008 at 10:36 PM  

  • Management:

    S my D.

    Regards,

    Dave

    By Blogger RFB, at December 9, 2008 at 10:40 PM  

  • Oh! Don't forget people who use the hands-free option on the phone--especially to dial. Nothing like listening to a dial tone on loud when you're trying to come up with copy...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 10, 2008 at 9:13 AM  

  • ha! for the record, that was just me messing with you on the comment from management.

    By Blogger HighJive, at December 10, 2008 at 2:34 PM  

  • Ha! I thought it was an insider here who shares my pain. (Or one of the many former insiders who've been let go.)

    Good one, HJ.

    By Blogger RFB, at December 10, 2008 at 2:38 PM  

  • everysandwich:

    I'd personally like to suggest that crossing pedestrians who actually slow down when you approach in a vehicle are beyond rude and might need counseling.

    No. Running over is what they need.

    By Blogger warren, at December 10, 2008 at 5:14 PM  

  • Some of us are also trying to blog. Hate it when they bring work in and expect it to get done.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 10, 2008 at 10:51 PM  

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