Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Things You Should've Learned a Long Time Ago


Or - 12* Things I Won't Miss About CubeWorldTM

  1. When two people are walking down a hall side-by-side in conversation and another person approaches going the opposite way, ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO STEP ASIDE SO I DON'T HAVE TO DUCK INTO A DOORWAY TO LET YOU PASS.
  2. I'm sure whomever you're talking to on your cellphone from the bathroom stall would love to know that YOU ARE TALKING TO THEM WHILE TAKING A CRAP.
  3. FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET, ASSHOLE.
  4. Your cologne/perfume needs to be used MORE SPARINGLY.
  5. Switching to Spanish from English when the non-Hispanic enters the area is RUDE.
  6. Could you possibly crunch your snack ANY LOUDER?
  7. We don't all love your music. They're called HEADPHONES.
  8. The meetings about meetings? They're a WASTE OF TIME and MONEY.
  9. It's going to take you a long time to clear your cube of all those personal belongings when they lay you off. IT'S WORK - NOT A SHRINE TO YOUR CHILDREN, CATS or BOYFRIEND.
  10. Gay guys - shut up with the gay sex humor. WE GET IT; YOU'RE GAY.
  11. Gay guys - quit complimenting the women. Straight guys get TAKEN TO H.R. FOR THAT.
  12. The morning gossip sessions about what you watched on TV last night need to be dialed down - SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.
* Post #1,200 at Where's My Jetpack?

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