Formal Friday

A Morality Play for Salespeople.
Wait: Morality? Sales?
Nevermind.
OK, it's just a skit that fell out of my head after I saw this picture.

JANE

I just love Formal Fridays. They make me feel pretty.

JIM

At the risk of creating an HR incident, you are always pretty, Jane, Formal Friday or not.

JANE

(Laughing) Oh, Jim, you're so funny.

JIM

I'm not trying to be funny. You're totally hot. Always.

JANE

Let's pretend you're being funny then, OK? That's sure a handsome metal desk.

JIM

Thanks. Wanna lay on it? Super comfortable.

JANE

Uh....I thank you, but no. Where's your chair?

JIM

Well, I don't like to sit on Formal Fridays 'cause it wrinkles my tux, so I stick the chair in the closet. But that is one handsome metal desk, huh?

JANE

Certainly.

JIM

Handsome handsome.

JANE

Indeed.

JIM

Am I handsome?

JANE

Jim.

JIM

Yes, Jane?

JANE

We are coworkers. Our relationship is professional.

JIM

I know. But I'm in sales. I can't stop trying.

JANE

So, I am just a prospect to you? A potential "sale"?

JIM

Look, if I make 30 calls on my avocado phone over there and three say "yes," then the effort was worth it.

JANE

I see. And how many "calls" have you made today besides the one you're working right now?

JIM

You sure smell pretty.

JANE

You're disgusting.

JIM

Disgusting in a roguish, rakish way? Like a pirate?

JANE

No. Like a pig disgusting.

JIM

You dig me, I can tell.

JANE

No, I don't.

JIM

No means yes.

JANE

No. No means no.

JIM

And today's opposite day.

JANE

No, it's Formal Friday. And I bid you good day, sir.

[Jane exits, stage right]

JIM

I sooo almost had her.

Image via Plan 59