Friday, February 27, 2009

Formal Friday

A Morality Play for Salespeople.
Wait: Morality? Sales?
Nevermind.

OK, it's just a skit that fell out of my head after I saw this picture.

JANE
I just love Formal Fridays. They make me feel pretty.

JIM
At the risk of creating an HR incident, you are always pretty, Jane, Formal Friday or not.

JANE
(Laughing) Oh, Jim, you're so funny.

JIM
I'm not trying to be funny. You're totally hot. Always.

JANE
Let's pretend you're being funny then, OK? That's sure a handsome metal desk.

JIM
Thanks. Wanna lay on it? Super comfortable.

JANE
Uh....I thank you, but no. Where's your chair?

JIM
Well, I don't like to sit on Formal Fridays 'cause it wrinkles my tux, so I stick the chair in the closet. But that is one handsome metal desk, huh?

JANE
Certainly.

JIM
Handsome handsome.

JANE
Indeed.

JIM
Am I handsome?

JANE
Jim.

JIM
Yes, Jane?

JANE
We are coworkers. Our relationship is professional.

JIM
I know. But I'm in sales. I can't stop trying.

JANE
So, I am just a prospect to you? A potential "sale"?

JIM
Look, if I make 30 calls on my avocado phone over there and three say "yes," then the effort was worth it.

JANE
I see. And how many "calls" have you made today besides the one you're working right now?

JIM
You sure smell pretty.

JANE
You're disgusting.

JIM
Disgusting in a roguish, rakish way? Like a pirate?

JANE
No. Like a pig disgusting.

JIM
You dig me, I can tell.

JANE
No, I don't.

JIM
No means yes.

JANE
No. No means no.

JIM
And today's opposite day.

JANE
No, it's Formal Friday. And I bid you good day, sir.

[Jane exits, stage right]

JIM
I sooo almost had her.

Image via Plan 59

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