Formal Friday

A Morality Play for Salespeople.
Wait: Morality? Sales?
Nevermind.
OK, it's just a skit that fell out of my head after I saw this picture.

JANE

I just love Formal Fridays. They make me feel pretty.

JIM

At the risk of creating an HR incident, you are always pretty, Jane, Formal Friday or not.

JANE

(Laughing) Oh, Jim, you're so funny.

JIM

I'm not trying to be funny. You're totally hot. Always.

JANE

Let's pretend you're being funny then, OK? That's sure a handsome metal desk.

JIM

Thanks. Wanna lay on it? Super comfortable.

JANE

Uh....I thank you, but no. Where's your chair?

JIM

Well, I don't like to sit on Formal Fridays 'cause it wrinkles my tux, so I stick the chair in the closet. But that is one handsome metal desk, huh?

JANE

Certainly.

JIM

Handsome handsome.

JANE

Indeed.

JIM

Am I handsome?

JANE

Jim.

JIM

Yes, Jane?

JANE

We are coworkers. Our relationship is professional.

JIM

I know. But I'm in sales. I can't stop trying.

JANE

So, I am just a prospect to you? A potential "sale"?

JIM

Look, if I make 30 calls on my avocado phone over there and three say "yes," then the effort was worth it.

JANE

I see. And how many "calls" have you made today besides the one you're working right now?

JIM

You sure smell pretty.

JANE

You're disgusting.

JIM

Disgusting in a roguish, rakish way? Like a pirate?

JANE

No. Like a pig disgusting.

JIM

You dig me, I can tell.

JANE

No, I don't.

JIM

No means yes.

JANE

No. No means no.

JIM

And today's opposite day.

JANE

No, it's Formal Friday. And I bid you good day, sir.

[Jane exits, stage right]

JIM

I sooo almost had her.

Image via Plan 59

Sexual Harrassment: It Works Both Ways

In your dreams, dudes.

The lawyer suggests that you tell "the temptress" to stop calling you "strong" and to stop seeking you out on the warehouse floor in her tight leather skirt. It's really bothersome. Classic early 90s production and slinky music in this CYA film apparently written as comedy.

Thousands of Bloggers Have Nothing To Bitch About Now

Now that Palin has been banished to Alaska and the sad old maverick goes back to being a sad old senator, many among the blogging masses are going to need new targets of snark and scorn. When ranting eludes me in these Glorious Days of Hope and Change and Unicorns and Rainbows, I thrive on randomness, which often involves stealing images from Getty and making stupid captions for them.

No, I Haven't Seen "Mad Men" Yet

I might get around to it eventually. Meantime, here's my take on it, based on what I've read.

Click for Large

Go to the Interview Without Your Pants

You know there is no way this got through the agency (and the client) wihout someone making a joke about "I got your dangling carrot right here." To which someone else replied, "Yeah, a baby carrot."

And then the two clowns had to go to HR for special training, because someone overheard them and felt offended and demeaned.

Or maybe it's just me. "Dangling your carrot" should not immediately make people think of such things. I need special training.

Banner ad found at the Los Angeles Times.

Today is a Good Day to Get Fired

A Florida prosecutor was the subject of a sexual harassment complaint based in part on his Valentine's gift to a secretary of a sexy teddy negligee;

A British employee forwarded to half a dozen co-workers a steamy Valentine's Day email from his girlfriend, which accidentally was circulated to over 10 million computers worldwide;

A California college professor accused of harassing multiple female students sealed his own fate by sending the students Valentine's Day cards expressing his affection.

Instances stolen from Business Wire.