Submitted for Banning - With Footnotes
These things:
While we're at it, let's get rid of silhouettes of your child/teenager's sport, with their name (invariably "Ashleigh" or "Hunter") underneath.1 Also, (respectfully) might we consider getting rid of tributes to Dale Earnhardt on the back of your car/truck/SUV?2
I predict that in the future, people will simply have their twitter handle on the back of their car, so you can message them while driving down the highway: "@jetpacks: saw you getting pulled over this morning on I4 by cop on motorcycle.3 Too bad you're not a chick and couldn't cry your way out of ticket4. Haha!"
1. Attention American Parents with Sports-Playing Kids: It's the family car, not a shrine to your overindulged child.
2. Attention Dale Earnhardt Fans: He's dead. I'm sorry. What is your point?
3. Attention Motorcycle Cop on I4 This Morning: Thanks for the ticket. I will definitely heed your advice and start driving 55.
4. Attention Angry Feminists: Please keep in mind that most women have at least one story of getting out of a ticket, whereas few men do.
While we're at it, let's get rid of silhouettes of your child/teenager's sport, with their name (invariably "Ashleigh" or "Hunter") underneath.1 Also, (respectfully) might we consider getting rid of tributes to Dale Earnhardt on the back of your car/truck/SUV?2
I predict that in the future, people will simply have their twitter handle on the back of their car, so you can message them while driving down the highway: "@jetpacks: saw you getting pulled over this morning on I4 by cop on motorcycle.3 Too bad you're not a chick and couldn't cry your way out of ticket4. Haha!"
1. Attention American Parents with Sports-Playing Kids: It's the family car, not a shrine to your overindulged child.
2. Attention Dale Earnhardt Fans: He's dead. I'm sorry. What is your point?
3. Attention Motorcycle Cop on I4 This Morning: Thanks for the ticket. I will definitely heed your advice and start driving 55.
4. Attention Angry Feminists: Please keep in mind that most women have at least one story of getting out of a ticket, whereas few men do.
Labels: America, bumper stickers, Dale Earnhardt, dumb ideas, randomness, signage, twitter, window stickers
Sent into orbit at
2:36 PM
10 Comments:
Can we also ban Calvin pissing on anything?
By
phillybikeboy, at March 25, 2009 at 3:23 PM
PBB: No question. Calvin must go - including Calvin kneeling before the cross.
By
RFB, at March 25, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Those sports stickers are also like open invitations to pedophiles.
By
Thinking In Vain, at March 25, 2009 at 3:57 PM
I agree - also ban the variation that uses skulls & crossbones as the family - I will never think a skull & crossbones with a bow is cute. Ever.
On a side note - what is the customary length of time to display an "In Loving Memory of..." decal? Maybe it's time to bust out the razor blade when it reads "In ov g Mem". I think at that point you're saying..."I've pretty much forgotten about you & this decal."
By
Jamie, at March 25, 2009 at 3:57 PM
It’s like a Bud Real Men of feature.
My all-time #1: Too many stuffed animals in rear window lady.
By
Anonymous, at March 25, 2009 at 6:39 PM
Here's to you, too many stuffed animals in the rear window lay-ay-day.
By
RFB, at March 25, 2009 at 7:28 PM
What about the peeps that display a fish for every member of the family?
By
Anonymous, at March 25, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Dirtsister: Or a pair of flip-flops. (Florida version.)
By
RFB, at March 25, 2009 at 7:39 PM
And while you're at it, don't forget the gun racks in the back of pick-ups, and the set of fake (I hope they are) balls hanging from the trailer hitch.
Oh, yeah...welcome to Hooterville!
By
Anonymous, at March 25, 2009 at 10:59 PM
All excellent suggestions, though I'd forgive all of them if it meant those stupid hanging balls were no longer in existence.
By
Sara, at March 28, 2009 at 11:46 AM
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