Thursday, January 07, 2010

If It's Pain They Want

As an unemployed writer, I am considering all my career options, including becoming the host of my own show on the Food Network. It will be about making food in a kitchen, or something. But if I'm going to do that, I'd better have a line of overpriced products ready to ship to my legions of devoted viewers.

I note that hot sauce manufacturers are increasingly naming their products things like "Death," "Misery," "Anguish," "Pain," "Torture," and other words that dare the modern foodie with a penchant for hot stuff to douse their dishes with a splash of masochism. I like spicy food, but I draw the line at hurting myself to eat it. But if that's how the game is played, I will beat them at it.

UPDATE: I'm late to the game, as Chris notes in the comments, linking us to "Screaming Sphincter" and "Anal Angst."

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  • Too late.
    My two favorite titles in the genre are:

    By Anonymous Chris Houchens, at January 7, 2010 at 3:08 PM  

  • It's still funny.

    Obama "Yes We Can" Sauce? Burns my ass.

    By Anonymous dirtsister, at January 7, 2010 at 6:21 PM  

  • are you an unemployed writer? i thought you were freelancing for that last joint. in which case, you're not unemployed; rather, you're a freelancer between gigs.

    however, make sure you sign up to collect unemployment benefits.

    By Blogger HighJive, at January 7, 2010 at 9:54 PM  

  • I was freelancing at the previous, previous gig. This one was an actual salaried position. And you bet I'll be filing for my share of my taxes.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at January 8, 2010 at 4:33 PM  

  • oh. well at least you can say you have pharma/healthcare experience. seems like that's the only category hiring right now (digital is too, but they treat writers like shit. designers too actually.)

    By Blogger HighJive, at January 8, 2010 at 10:04 PM  

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