If You Don't Buy This, The Terrorists Win

Click it to buy it.

Having a million-selling* single online can be a heady thing if you're not ready for it, but as I've learned from watching and studying Justin Bieber, it's important that guys like Justin and I maintain our grounded, down-to-earth coolness in the face of all this sudden wealth and fame. I am still the same me, only with tons and tons of cash and servants and exotic cars and a private jet and sushi whenever I demand it, prepared by my personal chef, who, if she doesn't get her act together, will find herself my former personal chef. (The ad clearly said: "Must be able to make sushi with leanings toward the California School expected. Sushi tools NOT provided!")

At the same time, it's discouraging that not everyone in the world has bought a copy yet. I know there are, like, starving people in other countries who can't afford the 99¢ because they have to eat or something, so maybe you can buy an extra copy and send it to them?

As I said before, you can hate the hell out of it. I don't care. Just buy it.

* I won't know for another month or two how it's doing at iTunes. The distributor, CD Baby, says, "Apple sends us the monthly report about 4-6 weeks after the month is finished. Meaning: you won't see your September sales until the first week of November."