Your MOM is Redundant! (Number 2)

OK, so I surprised myself and actually continued a proposed series of homemade comics.

(Make the image bigger by clicking. Duh.)

Every State Has a Springfield

Dominating the skyline like an Eastern European monument to thoughtless architecture, the Springfield, Illinois Hilton lends an eerie ugliness to a town whose chief qualities are eeriness and ugliness.

Scene of Obama's announcement to run for President (an impressive event) and the home of the Illinois State Capitol (an impressive structure) the town also hosts the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. This is no ordinary museum, and despite its overwhelming fascination with death and ghosts and creepiness (a wax figure of Mary Todd Lincoln sits dressed in black, the window reflecting a gloomy rain as she mourns the death of her son with a bible on her lap; a replica of the rotunda is dark and ominous, where Lincoln's body lies in state) the museum rivals anything Disney could do. Put together by BRC Imagination Arts (WARNING: exceptionally cheese-filled homepage video on their website) the exhibits leave you asking, "How did they do that?" which is a pretty decent takeaway for any museum.

We had a good visit, randomly deciding to stop in (at the compulsion of some roadside signs) as we drove through the very flat and uninspiring middle of Illinois. Springfield has an Arby's. We ate there. I had the French Dip, an inspired sandwich, the au jus of which was "CAUTION: EXTREMELY HOT" so I cannot sue them for a burnt tongue as they warned me ahead of time.

I took a moment to travel back in time to try to talk John Wilkes Boothe out of what he kept referring to as his "destiny," but alas, I was too late. His mind was made up.

Virtual Travel

I love Google Street Views. Sure, it's got shades of Big Brother, but it's not like they have live video feed from the street in front of your house. Yet.

I like to pick random towns and just parachute in to look around, maybe moving forward a few miles by clicking on the furthest shaded circle that appears when you mouse over the road. That new feature allows you to speed down a road faster than before.

Here are the four corners of the continental US, as far as Google has mapped them on Street Views. (Click for larger.)

Northeast: Hamlin, Maine

Southwest: Imperial Beach, California

Northwest: Blaine, Washington

Southeast: Key West, Florida

Advertising: When You Only Want to Tell One Side of the Story

Joseph H. Durano, pictured here, has a tough job. As the Secretary of the Department of Tourism for the Philippines, he has to sell the Philippines as a tourist destination. So he does the obvious: golf, night life, beaches, lush landscapes, water sports and native culture.

Let's not forget Adventure - with a capital A.

From Lonely Planet:

• The best time to travel is in the typhoon off-season from December to the middle of May.
• Travelers are advised to avoid most of Mindanao, an island group in the southern Philippines, especially the Zamboanga peninsula, Basilan, Tawi-Tawi and the Sulu archipelago, where ethnic and religious animosities fuel ongoing violence.

From the State Department:

• The Department urges Americans contemplating travel to the Philippines to carefully consider the risks to their safety and security, including those due to terrorism.
• Kidnap-for-ransom gangs operate in the Philippines. Many people who reside in or visit areas that face terrorist threats, such as in Mindanao, travel with their own security force, avoid an obvious presence, or both.

I think maybe Durano's job is too wide-open. He has to make the whole country look like a tourist destination, when really, only a few places are. 7,107 islands is a fact, but only 800 of those are inhabited, and of those, you'd only want to visit a couple.

Everything's Bigger Here

Texas is a big ol' state, and Dallas is a big ol' city, with one restaurant for every resident and enough traffic to make you bang your head on the dashboard in despair. Springtime is a good time to be here, as the grass is greening and the temps are not yet the Africa Hot they reach in the summer months. The sunsets are pretty nice too. The Dallas Cowboys are worshiped year round and the number of models working as waitresses until their careers take off is astronomical. The city is growing right in front of me and the place still remains remarkably friendly, except the guys on talk radio, who are paid to be dicks.

I used to hate Texas. Now, not so much.