Friday, January 25, 2008

Where Women Glow and Men Plunder

Tired of the petty politics, celebrity obsession, rampant crime and general malaise of your home country? Australia may be just the place you've been dreaming of. Sure, we have our own idiots to deal with, but all in all, we're not bad.

Wide open spaces, cool cities, nice weather and decent people. Yes, you’ll have to get used to a few differences, like summer being winter and vice versa. We also drive on the left side of the road, but it's not that big of a deal after you've done it for a day. As for the sinks draining in the opposite direction, that's a myth. Crocodile Dundee is a stereotype, so don't expect to see guys like that. Also, Outback Steakhouse is not a fair representation of our country.

You're welcome to visit, of course, but we’re looking for skilled, hard-working types who want to make a new life in a country that hasn't yet been completely screwed up by American culture. Visit the Australian Department of Immigration to find out more.

For a few years now, I've been romanticizing life Down Under. I've read some books and regularly visit some Aussie sites. It gets nicer looking every day. Personally, I've got the city of Adelaide in mind. This kind of wanderlust is common in a global economy. My next door neighbors are from England. (He helps build missiles for Lockheed/Martin.) One of the proofreaders here at work is a native Londoner. Sometimes, the grass just looks greener.

For a good primer on Australia for the American, check out Bill Bryson's book In a Sunburned Country.

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  • Okay. I'm with you, kinda.

    Back in the 70s, Olivia Newton John had me thinking most women down there were hot. So far, I haven't found that much evidence to the contrary. But before I go, please tell me this guy isn't there anymore...

    By Blogger TexanInHippieland, at January 25, 2008 at 4:23 PM  

  • I can hear the thunder. I’m running and taking cover right now.

    Although the whole 7 out of 10 of the world’s deadliest creatures live there stat takes a little air out of the greener grass balloon.

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at January 26, 2008 at 2:39 PM  

  • What if your skill set is to hasten their adulteration by American culture?

    By Anonymous ouija repair, at January 27, 2008 at 9:02 AM  

  • As far as English in Australia is concerned, I'm pretty sure it's a joke invented by the locals to mess with the tourists- further evidence of the good-natured sense of humor in Aus. You can inadvertently say some pretty messed up things just by using ostensibly English vernacular- ask an Aussie about "rooting" around or what she's go in her "fanny" pack and you might get a smack.

    By Blogger The Goo, at January 27, 2008 at 12:13 PM  

  • Adelaide is the City of Churches. Get thee to Melbourne, the City of Outdoor Pubs and Live Bands.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 30, 2008 at 1:20 AM  

  • Here's more news from Down Under to enjoy with your vegamite sandwich:

    By Blogger HighJive, at January 31, 2008 at 11:23 AM  

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