Heineken Does It a Little Better This Time

Remember Heineken's "Share the Good" campaign? You don't? That's because they let it die very quickly. Why did they let it die so quickly? Because it was stupid. Because it sucked. Because they couldn't decide what it meant. Were we being asked to share a Heineken or clean up a park in a bad part of town? It was trying so hard and failing. It wanted to be a religion in the way Liberty Mutual wants you to pick up trash and save strangers from getting run over by cars.

So the geniuses at Heineken asked themselves, "What are we selling?"

Someone in the room replied, "Beer!"

To which a creative director said, "No, more than that."

The same person said, "Heineken t-shirts? Merchandise?"

"Get out!" screamed the creative director.

An intern timidly offered, "An experience? A relationship with the brand?"

"Yes!" said the creative director, "But more than that! What kind of an experience? What kind of relationship?" He walked to her side of the table and got in her face, imploring the young intern to give him the answer he wanted.

"A drunken experience? A night you can't remember?" She hoped her answer was the one he was looking for.

"Exactly!" he shouted as he spun around, pointing to the intern as the rest of the creative team gave her dirty looks.

"We're selling getting drunk! We're selling a good time! Now why on earth would we do anything else in the 'do gooder' category other than 'Don't drink and drive'?"

The team looked thoughtful and pretended to write notes.

"Which one of you clowns came up with 'Share the Good'?" he scanned the room.

"I did," said a thirty-something woman in black glasses, "And you thought it was awesome."

The Church of Heineken - UPDATE

Heineken's Share the Good is up. Seems it's merely a place to show pictures of yourself holding a Heineken Premium Light. Wow. "Sharing the Good" apparently means "Buy someone a Heinie," which makes me wonder why the radio script included a reference to cleaning up trash at the docks. As brand websites go, it's nothing to write home about, though as Jessie Birks notes at AdRants, "I love their age verification treatment." I also like the dragable dial that takes you to other menu items.

I'm glad "Share the Good" isn't a religion as the radio ad hinted it might be. Those things just don't work. (SunChips has apparently modified their silly effort of last year called Live Brightly.) But all this turns out to be is a place to upload a picture of yourself holding a Heineken? Are people really that desperate to see themselves on a brand's website? Expect limited uploads, Heineken. OK, maybe they'll allow their images to be used if they're drinking free beer at a product launch party, as most of these people seem to be doing.

It's not exactly "I'd like to buy the world a Coke," but it's striving in that same direction.

Heineken has a history of creating tag lines that might be used in real life. Before I could (legally) drink, they had "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken," which was very catchy and I'm sure heard in bars the world over. I think "Share the good" might be heard at a frat party when someone walks in with a case of Heineken Premium Light and those holding more affordable beers cry out, "Share the good, bro!" And the guy with the Heinies answers, "Gimme $3 and I'll let you have one."

Sharing Some Good

Click image for full flavored freshness

On my way to work this morning I heard a somewhat labored and not fully fleshed-out radio ad in which the narrator implores the listeners to "share the good." He makes a vague reference to cleaning up garbage by the docks, sharing a beer and basically "doing your part." He mentions Heineken. He mentions a URL, "Sharethegood.com." And I'm thinking, "Please God, No! Not another SunChips-styled attempt to turn a product into a religion. The bottle is already green. What more do you want? Besides Rolling Rock, you're the Green Beer!"

So the first thing I do when I get to work is go to sharethegood.com. "Coming Soon" from register.com. is all there is right now. Who Is reveals it's registered to Brian Citron of New York City. He registered it on February 12 of this year. A quick Google search reveals Brian is Associate Brand Manager for Heineken, USA. (Firefox and IE will show it as unavailable. Safari reveals the register.com registration.) Here's a picture I found of Brian from The New York Times when his marriage was announced in 2005. Congratulations, by the way, sir.

Brian: Since you haven't yet launched the site but you're running radio for a site that isn't ready, you're now going to have to buy more radio when the site eventually goes live. Let's hope in the interim you can think through this "Share The Good" concept and not fall flat on your face as one more brand executing another self-satisfied half-stab at making the world a better place through [beer, chips, toilet paper, dog food, tampons, shoes, etc.] I truly hope the Heineken effort is different from what we've been treated to so far by other brands.

I'm sure it's one of those cases where airtime was bought based on something the web team promised. Then some snags were hit on the development side and the radio stations (Clear Channel) said "Screw you. Contract's signed. We've already scheduled the spots!" (And they chuckled under their breath, saying, "It's Heineken, They can afford it.") So the AE was all, "C'mon, Web Team. You're totally screwing me here!" And the Web Team was like, "Dude, it's not our fault! The servers in White Plans were supposed to propagate the domain nationally by 7AM Tuesday. That's what they promised! I'll show you the email!" And there were late nights of scrambling and iPhones were buzzing as they tried to finish in time for the spots to air. But the spots aired before the site was ready and someone's passing the buck right now and someone else is eating crap. Hopefully it all gets worked out soon. I'd like the chance to see what this new Heineken religion is all about.

Maybe it's just the interactive agency not communicating effectively with the traditional agency.

Or maybe it's simply a case of my local Clear Channel station playing a spot before it was supposed to be played.

Whatever, I'd be interested to hear from Brian Citron if he finds this. When is the new site coming, Brian? What's the plan? How can I help?

(And I'm available to help with your marketing efforts in exchange for massive shipments of beer. I will also require a walk-in cooler installed in my garage.)