Tuesday, December 04, 2007

We Three Kings of Cha-Ching

I’ve had in my head for a few years an idea for a Christmas art installation. If I put it in my yard, I’m sure the HOA would come down on me and the locals would vandalize it while egging and toilet-papering my house, offended by my little statement. Since I’m once again not going to have the money to do it this season, I’ll put it out there for you to think about. If some adventurous art gallery wants to put up the money, I’ll put it together for you.

The idea is to create a Commercial Nativity Scene using store mannequins.

  • Joseph and Mary are smartly dressed in Banana Republic type clothing; scarves, blazers and the like. They eat sushi as they sit near their baby.
  • Baby Jesus wears designer toddler clothing.
  • The shepherds are ruggedly attired in Australian Outback gear, maybe from Bass Pro or L.L. Bean, an obedent Australian Shepherd cocks his cute head. They carry deluxe, telescopic walking sticks handmade in Germany.
  • The three wise men are dressed in expensive, tailored suits. They present the infant with opened briefcases filled with cash, Axe Body Spray and luxury timepieces. At least one of them smokes a fine Cuban cigar.
  • The winged angel wears a white Victoria’s Secret thong and bra. She holds a Starbucks cup in one hand
  • The animals are cute puppies and kittens.
  • The manger is a Design Within Reach or IKEA bedroom.

  • Let the offensiveness begin!

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    • I'm on board, jetpacks. Send me your address for a $20 visa gift card (irony) to begin your quest for a statement on the materialism that is 'the holidays'....(grrr). As festive and fun as it is, I do recognize the gluttonous ambivalence we Americans employ this time of year...and I'm ashamed. Ashamed for all of us. Then again, if John Wayne were alive, he'd kick' Santa's ass off his sleigh and replace all of the designer toys with designer omaha steaks, cartons of marlboros, and tennessee whiskey gift boxes. It IS interesting that we are as generous as we are as a nation AND wasteful at the same time. The Romans probably were too....to secure commerce in remote regions in euro-asia, though....I digress.

      By Blogger thompanilla, at December 4, 2007 at 12:18 PM  

    • In case you need supplies…


      By Blogger HighJive, at December 4, 2007 at 12:42 PM  

    • In Utah there's a christmas store (open year-round) at a place called Gardner Village. They sell a nativity where all of the animals from Noah's ark is represented and Baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are represented by Hippos.

      By Blogger Ron & Jessica, at December 5, 2007 at 12:13 PM  

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