Where's My Jetpack?: Grass Don't Lie

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Grass Don't Lie

Someday I will cease writing bullshit for liars. Someday, when old “friends” call me and ask me to “work your magic” on some “on fire” job, I will say, “Find yourself another writer.” Or when some sales type says, "Yeah, man, whatever, just do that fluffy writing stuff and let's get it out the door," I will say, "You know what, jackass? I'm done making you look good."

So I just renewed one of my many domains, The ‘Scapers.The fantasy is that I will mow lawns and somehow make a living. I'll probably need a bunch of illegal aliens working for me if I hope to realize a healthy profit.

Yeah, I need a logo. I'm accepting free ones.

Labels: AEs, bullshit, ditching this hellish business, landscaping, randomness, sales vs creatives, writing

6 Comments:

I’d go with legal aliens as your model. No really. Real aliens. Giant costume with a url on the back.

Might suck to be in that outfit all day so maybe you hit up some Disney theme park employees looking for extra work.

Just a thought.

By Anonymous, at January 10, 2008 at 4:55 PM
Years ago, my dad and I had an auto parts/small engine repair business that went belly up after a few years of struggle. In our first year of business an unemployed guy bought a lawnmower from us. It seems he had been without a job for a while and started mowing lawns for cash. Long story short, he continued buying equipment from us and shortly before we closed, his business had grown to several crews, several vehicles and many employees.

Ever since then, when Creative Directors would piss me off... or AEs... I would dream of doing what that guy did.

It's a good dream. And I'll bet there's a lot of satisfaction when you look at your work.

(Sorry for the long comment)

By Unknown, at January 10, 2008 at 6:17 PM
That's it exactly, Texan. When a job is done, it's done. I did a summer on a crew about 5 years ago here in FL. It was easily the most rewarding job I've ever had. And a pretty decent workout, too.

By RFB, at January 10, 2008 at 6:29 PM
I'll give you a free logo. :)

;p

By Thinking In Vain, at January 11, 2008 at 9:29 AM
anytime you're ready, Kymber. Bring it on.

By RFB, at January 11, 2008 at 10:57 PM
Where did you find this photo of Baby Ad Broad?? I worked for a landscapingg company in college, Jetpacks, and I'd suggest that making suburban lawn-freaks look good can be even more demoralizing than doing the same for bozo corporate clients. But you'd save on gym dues. And dry cleaning.

By Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising, at January 12, 2008 at 8:49 AM