Friday, March 07, 2008

They're Known on the Street as "Do-Si-Dos"

Yesterday on the way home from work I hit the neighborhood Publix for some stuff. Out in front were a Girl Scout and her mother behind a folding table, selling their drugs in broad daylight. She said there were only two boxes left, the peanut butter kind. If Thin Mints are the heroin of Girl Scout Cookies, then the peanut butter ones are the crack. They call them Do-Si-Dos. She gave me her sad, pleading eyes as some handmade sign behind her declared something about “Buy Cookies and Support the Military.” Yeah, whatever.

I said, “If those are still here when I come out, I’ll buy them,” confident that some other addict would lapse and fall for this phony “Girl Scout Cookies Support the Troops” sales gimmick.

I left the store and she was still there. So were the cookies. I said, “Shut this thing down. I’m buying your last two boxes.” As I handed over $7, she thanked me profusely and actually said, “You’re my hero.”

I’m sure as I left she pulled out two more boxes and repeated the ruse for the next sucker. The boxes now sit in the pantry, as yet unopened. Those things only come around once a year. Got to hold on to them.

Previously in Evil Lying Drug Dealer Girl Scouts

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4 Comments:

  • Crack indeed. In fact, there is a boycott on cookie sales by some group that thinks the program promotes obesity. Honestly, I don't see how anyone can resist a Tagalong.

    I purchased two boxes of Thin Mints a few weeks ago. The first one lasted less than an day at my house. The other one has been hidden deep in the freezer to be discovered later. When that day comes, it will be like finding King Tut's tomb all over again.

    By Anonymous Lia, at March 7, 2008 at 6:27 PM  

  • You know right now they're back on the other side of town in their mobile Tagalong lab, readying a new batch for sale at yet another Publix.

    You gave in, and the Girl Scouts won. I hope you’re happy.

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at March 7, 2008 at 11:27 PM  

  • Wouldn’t meth and extacy be more contemporary comparisons? Although the latest anti-drug ads show kids are using the items found in the household medicine cabinet to get high. So maybe it would be better to say Samoas are like NyQuil or Peanut Butter Patties are essentially Robitussin.

    By Blogger HighJive, at March 9, 2008 at 2:00 PM  

  • HJ: I was going for the classic highly-addictive drugs. But yes, meth might be a better, more contemporary example.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at March 9, 2008 at 4:56 PM  

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