B-Rock Wants to Meet You BACKSTAGE

It's getting a little too close to Celebrity Superstar Madness over in Obamaland. But at least it's out in the open now. With this candidate, we can finally put to rest the archaic notion that electing a president is based on policy and issues. It is nothing more than a popularity contest. We know how it works by now: they all lie, they all make promises they won't keep, they all attack each other unfairly, they all have shady associations, they all pretend to be in touch. Starting with Kennedy vs Nixon in 1960, it comes down to who reads a teleprompter better, who has better speech writers and who looks better in pictures. The McCain camp knows they are going to get their asses kicked hard in this charisma/charm contest.

Usually we are forced to choose between the least uncharismatic of the two candidates. This year we've got The Smiling King of Charisma vs The Old Man Who Yells "Get Off My Lawn" at The Neighbor Kids. And if a charismatic leader can get into the Oval Office, the hope is that he or she will lead through sheer charm. That's a big hope, but Reagan pulled it off.

The following is from the campaign's headquarters, who've just announced that Obama will deliver his acceptance speech not in the convention hall, but in a 75,000 seat football stadium:

"If you make a donation of $5 or more between now and midnight on July 31st, you could be one of 10 supporters chosen to fly to Denver and spend two days and nights at the convention, meet Barack backstage, and watch his acceptance speech in person."

That seems more suited to a teen idol than it does a serious contender for the presidency. Then again, we've never had a serious contender for the presidency who was also a teen idol.

Somewhere right now is a film crew putting together what will be a very moving piece about the rise of Obama. They have full access and the best equipment. They're getting candid backstage moments and private conversations in hotel elevators. The editing will include plenty of slo-mo and cool music, crowd shots and mini-crises in real time. It's almost done. After the acceptance speech in Denver, they just need to tack on the election night celebration footage and run the credits.

You'll be able to own the DVD by Christmas.

If I could stick a knife in my heart
Suicide right on stage
Would it be enough for your teenage lust?
Would it help to ease the pain? Ease your brain?