You Know Who

George Parker has a few words to say about Yahoo!'s attempts to come back from the dead. Bill Green has a few as well. (Bill also weighs in on AOL's similar attempt.)

I'm probably not the fairest judge since I was an "early adopter" of Google back in the 90s. I simply liked the clean interface. It was a search engine and that's all I wanted. Now it's so much more, but it's still a great search engine. They quietly added the whole "home portal" bells and whistles with iGoogle, but you can still click on "Classic Home" to get that look that takes you back to a simple search.

AOL? How do they shake the whole "Grandma's on-ramp to the Information Superhighway" image they've dug for themselves? I know two people who use AOL, and they are on dial-up. Even the little yellow man has been co-opted by Google.

Yahoo!? Wow. Just as tough. That exclamation point was so "crazy wild" back in dotcom '96. So irreverent, so "nutty." Now? So silly. So stupid. You could make the case that the name Google is just as dumb, but it's now a verb. (Yahoo! tried to duplicate that success with their failed campaign, "Do you Yahoo!?") Go to Yahoo! now and they're begging you with pop-ups to add your favorites to the site. The page has a pleading, desperate feel, like any local newspaper's website or the countless identical sites of local TV stations. "We want to be your place to find cars, jobs, weather, news, casual hookups, horoscopes, lottery numbers, email, travel, music." They want to be your homepage, the first place you see when you fire up your machine. That's a lot to ask. Sure, Yahoo!'s Flickr is good, but other than that, I've got no reason to be there.

Yahoo! might pick off some old AOL customers, and maybe some old Yahoo! devotees will try out AOL, but most of us have decided what we like at this point, and any "rebrand" is easily detected for what it is; a desperate attempt to be relevant again. Bing? I'm not even interested. MSN was never a player in this game. "Try it! It's great!" people tell me. No. I like what I use. What's that you say? They have a cool background image that changes? Well then, since you put it that way!

Is Google a monopoly? Pretty much. But I'm not jumping to a competitor in the interest of thumbing my nose and playing the rebel. Google was the new kid long ago, and I like how they've grown. Smart moves, savvy business and a product that delivers a lot for nothing.

And rather than painstakingly creating the silly logo at top in P-shop, I just went to this easy site.

Sure, America is Online - Just Not With AOL

AOL is rearranging the deck chairs.

I think we all know why.

Click for Big

AOL Supports Giving Southwest US To Mexico

What's up with this globe, where Las Vegas is found in the heart of some unknown territory in the Southwest? Someone call Lou Dobbs.

I think the US should annex Baja.

Man Searches for Xena Porn with Success

CP+B have to work for Ask.com, the struggling search engine in a very distant 5th place to Google, Yahoo, MSN and AOL, just ahead of the "other" category. In typical CP+B fashion, they do the work big, weird, and self-aware, reaching for the porn image searcher market (the man searches for "chicks with swords") in this over-the-top, grandiose Broadway Spectacular.

Keep doing show tunes and you're gonna stay in 5th, Ask. Might wanna bring back Jeeves soon.

Watch at your own risk.



Note to anonymous commenter (whose comment was deleted) who wrote, "Not sure how women wearing clothes while holding swords is equivalent to porn...I guess some people have nothing better to do then be strangely offended by nothing at all."

No one is offended by the "porn," which is merely suggested and not actual. (Do I need to tell you what a "sword" is? Here you go. See also the Wayne's World entry on Wikipedia. Look for the word "Schwing!") The "offense" is the spot itself. I just happen to hate musicals. I also hate commercials that rely on giant productions to sell services no one uses. Sorry. And I'll bet you worked on the spot or you work at Ask.com. Please read the disclaimer at the bottom of this blog.