Threat Level: Red

If I were a terrorist, (AND I'M NOT, Department of Homeland Security) I wouldn't go for water reservoirs, shopping malls or downtown skyscrapers. The way to cripple America is to unplug our cable. It's quite unsettling to lose contact with the outside world. No TV or Internet.

Tonight, no less than 8 trucks worked on a cable outage in my neighborhood. The three guys at lower right (who aren't doing anything) were slightly unnerved at my picture taking. One of them pulled out a camera phone and began shooting pictures of me, surely worried I was from the QC department.

I know - this is a great argument for the Dish Network and Verizon Wireless Internet.

Your Whole Life is a Sponsored Moment™

I was sitting at the Jetpacks Mobile WorkStation^™ when I noticed a bunch of logos staring back at me. And so, this blog post was brought to you by Yahoo!^®, Corona^®, Dell^®, Logitech^® peripherals, the Dish Network^®, Verizon^® Wireless Broadband and Kensington^® peripherals. (And Blogger^®, by Google^®.)

And none of them have paid me yet.

I guess I use them because they're good, or maybe I perceived them as quality goods and services at affordable prices when I engaged them in business, but how do I know that's true if I don't try the others? Like a fickle client leaving a decent, performing agency for another, I'm willing to ditch these brands who haven't been giving me cold, hard cash (or kickbacks & free stuff) in return for my patronage.

So, if another computer manufacturer would like to furnish a better laptop than this rode hard, put-away-wet dinosaur, get in touch. I might even be persuaded to crossover to the Mac^® side.

If Comcast^®, BrightHouse^® or another competitor of the Dish Network^® wants in here, we're open.

Kensington^® and Logitech^® competitors?

Cingular^® on the wireless? (Oh, wait. I mean AT&T^®.) And I'll go ahead and invite Sprint^® to participate in the RFP.

MSN^®? Google^®? You want a piece?

Oh, wait. Google^® provides the blog, the email, the cool maps, the relatively reliable search results, the awesome view of my house from outer space and all kinds of other goodies - for FREE. (All with a simple, clean interface. Verdict: Exempted this month) So, MSN^®, you get first shot at the beer cozy sponsorship.

Corona^®...I guess you can stick around a while longer. One month exemption.

(Oh, yeah. Nikon^® took the picture. You have 30 days from today, otherwise Canon^® gets a shot.)