I Will Be a Schizophrenic Before This Is Over

As the Humongo Agency tour neared my locale, I debated going out to ambush them. I needed a good ruse, and at the last minute I came up with Ronnie, a character who is likely near to my heart. I did a summer on a landscaping crew, and Ronnie is probably a subconscious amalgamation of some of the guys I worked with. He means well, but he's, well, for lack of a better term, a little fucked up.

The character went over a little better than I expected and he has taken on a life of his own at the encouragement of Chris, Darryl and a few others. Ronnie now has a blog, a Twitter account and a YouTube channel. Here's his first video.

The Horrors of War

The Florida fireant is our enemy. He serves no purpose in the yards of suburbia. His constant encroachment threatens our survival. The terror of the fireant will no longer be tolerated.

Witness this preemptive strike on a colony of fireants, as they had set up a secret underground terror cell in my backyard. They were subjected to repeated shelling by lava rock from the air.

They will be back. The fireant is a resilient foe. He fights to the death. We will not give in. And the fireant had best know this: we do not negotiate with terrorists.

The graphic nature of the following film may be unsuitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.