His Parents Must Be Proud

MOM: What’s the matter, Ken?
DAD: I dunno. I’m worried about Dan.
MOM: Our son is just fine, hon. What are you worried about?
DAD: Well, when Dan said he was going into modeling, I wasn’t really thrilled, but I tried to be encouraging.
MOM: He struggled in those early years, but he stuck with it. And you were very encouraging.
DAD: Those underwear ads weren’t much fun to explain to the guys at the club. I’d hoped he’d maybe get a Bass Pro Shops catalog gig or something, I don’t know…manly. Hold a fishing rod, wear a hunting vest, drive a boat or something.
MOM: He was in that ad for Budweiser.
DAD: The gay one, yeah. Where he’s sizing up some other guy at a bar.
MOM: Well, I think his new job is just great. I’m very proud of our Danny.
DAD: Danny is a fucking energy saving light bulb, Cathy!
MOM: And a very handsome energy saving light bulb! You be nice when he comes over tonight.

Invasion of the Fluorescents

A dyed-in-the-wool leftist Democrat eco-freak relative stayed at our house. On Sunday morning he ran off to Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Lowe's while the rest of the house was still trying to shake themselves awake with massive doses of coffee. When he got back, he proceeded to change most of our lightbulbs to these energy saver fluorescents. They're supposed to last a very long time and use much less electricity. He estimates a $20 savings per month.

I thought that was pretty bizarre, but pretty nice too. Now I've got a bin full of old bulbs that still work. Damn wasteful green freaks.