Lady in Red, Men in Black

I long ago vowed that I would never open a Cafe Press shop. Today, I break that vow. First two designs are up, with more to come. (And likely also an intrusively loud sidebar banner on this blog that tries to guilt you into shopping.)

Trust Your Future to a Man in a Feather Suit Who Rips Hearts Out

What is it about the Mayans that has everyone so fascinated? I'll grant that the new movie "2012" looks like some fun Armageddon footage that must be seen on the big screen to be appreciated, but I don't know why we hold up this primitive bunch who practiced human sacrifice to appease the sky gods as some sort of wise society. I guess we always need some sort of doom hanging over us to make us feel alive in some twisted way. That's why everyone loves the hack poet and drug-addled dickbrain Nostradamus. (I got your Nostradamus right here.)

Just 'cause the Mayans didn't plan ahead and ran out of room on their stupid circular calendar doesn't mean they knew shit about shit. Didn't see the Spaniards coming, now did they? I for one am getting ready for 2013 with these t-shirts.

Try a Little Harder

If you're going to engage, engage with at least a modest hint of enthusiasm.

(Twitterers know what I'm talking about...)

The t-shirt is an original Jetpacks Production, but I expect it will be stolen and available at a cafepress store very soon.