Saturday, June 30, 2007

Cut To The Chase

I've had it with all these male body spray / cologne ads that have for years suggested a little dab results in hot action. (See previous post.)

So I'm offering to sell a new line of body spray to any manufacturer willing to quit with the barely veiled innuendo and just tell it like it is. (Or rather, like they suggest it is.) Right up front, the name of the product will hold the promise that the wearer should ready himself for spontaneous stripping by hordes of beautiful women, who will beat one another for the honor of a moment of passion with him. We will, of course, as all the other colognes do, suggest that the women can stop bickering and simply share him, two or three at a time.

We'll worry about the actual fragrance later. Branding and Packaging always come first. With this name alone, we will make a serious impact on the body spray market.

The pirate image is guaranteed marketing gold. Chicks dig pirates, and boys buying this (or getting their moms to buy it for them) will fancy themselves dashing and dangerous rogues.

We'll make a killing.

I'm serious.

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  • The Swordsman. Gold baby.

    I could see it spinning off into multiple channels: Swordsman condoms. ‘The Swordsman’ tavern, a restaurant chain to hook-up after using their product. The Swordsman eyepatch, to replace once and for all the dickie. Swordsman air freshners for cars, (in the shape of pirates of course).


    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at June 30, 2007 at 11:17 PM  

  • Mmmmm .... swashbuckling.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 1, 2007 at 12:56 PM  

  • Dude, I dig. You could definitely get some mileage out of the whole vibe. "Sharpen your edge" "Straighten your blade" "Don't blunt the tip". I lol'd.

    By Blogger salemonz, at July 1, 2007 at 10:28 PM  

  • Oh yes, I can really see legs on this one.
    But I am surprised that someone hasn't just done the obvious thing and created a orally non-toxic cock spray, for use only on the nether regions. Call it Rooster or Lollipop or something like that.
    That would stop all the fannying around with fragrant body sprays and completely cut out the innuendo.
    The tagline would be "only for pricks".

    By Blogger FishNChimps, at July 2, 2007 at 8:12 AM  

  • You should totally send that to Matt at Brandspankin' - that is premium gold sir. Premium.

    By Blogger Moda di Magno, at July 3, 2007 at 4:09 PM  

  • Excellent. BUT the "package' should be shaped like a wang.

    By Blogger Slinky Redfoot, at July 4, 2007 at 10:59 PM  

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