The Obamas Are Your New Ideal

A kind reader sent me this banner, in which you are encouraged to get your nasty, flabby arms in shape. How will you do that? By visiting Kim's Diet Plan (dot com). Apparently Kim is the one accosting everyone with images of her plumpness.

Kim wants to sell you some berries and clean your colon, which will make you have arms like Michelle Obama's. Presumably, she will also show you how to suck in your stomach. Kim lives in a nearby town, according to her website, unless her website is lying to me and filling in a different town name for every visitor, based on IP. But I don't think Kim would do that.

Kim's banners reminded me of the series of banners featuring ladies exercising because President Obama wants moms to go to school. The first one I saw was a women doing violent sit-ups. Then I saw two ladies in a gym boxing. Here's the latest.

A video of two women doing jumping jacks on the beach feels disconnected from the goal of getting moms to finish college, but what do I know? Dancing gay cowboys was a huge hit for lowermybills.com. And even they changed horses and got on the Obama gravy train.

The goal, banner designers, is to get attention, like the lowest form of humor: slapstick. The banner ad doesn't need to have anything at all to do with whatever it is you're selling. Allow me to demonstrate.

Let's imagine a product or service. I know! Printer cartridges! Here's how we will sell them in a banner ad.


Maybe that was a cheap shot. OK. I'll try again.