Caribbean Jewelry Store Says “Stone The Woman!”

House of Rajah, on St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands, invites you to throw rocks at girls. “Rocks” as in “Diamonds!” Get it? Rocks=Diamonds? It’s a play on words! A-hahahahaha!

Allow me to explain the genius of the ad, should it perhaps be lost on you in its hidden and clever brilliance.

When we are young boys, we are taught that it’s not nice to hit girls, throw rocks at them or otherwise treat them cruelly. But in this case, we are permitted to “throw rocks” at them, as in “give them diamonds,” because, as you might know, “girls” love “rocks,” and while we must be nice to them, we occasionally screw up and find ourselves out of favor with them. When that happens, girls are quickly placated by shiny, expensive things. It shows them that we “love” them.

Previously in Horrendous Jewelry Word Play.

If Anyone Clicked This...

...I'd really be surprised.

While plotting my escape from these States United , I've become momentarily fascinated by the least visited of the three US Virgin Islands , St. Croix. Somewhere in my link-hopping, I encountered this banner ad.

What was the designer thinking? Why grab a not-very-funny stock photo of the stereotypical "tourists" in flowered shirts, laden with multiple cameras, goofy hats and bad sunglasses? Even the ugliest American, the most ignorant tourist, would know better than to look like this. And surely knows better than to click on such an image.

I hope. Maybe I overestimate the sense and smarts of my countrymen.