The Manufactured Horse Race That Wasn't

DISCLAIMER: I have watched presidential politics with interest this season mainly because the Obama campaign is a textbook study in marketing. I've not decided how I will cast my vote and I'm finding the daily gaffe-watch to be disgusting on both sides. If I could get away from it, I would, but as a political junkie, I can't put it down.

As recently as last autumn, a pollster desperate to shatter the myth that polls don't accurately measure the growing population that has given up land lines in favor of cell only, said, "They don't vote."

Dream on, white boy - and wake up to a brand new day. The proof is pretty easy to find: it's the number of people showing up.


The media needs a horse race, which is why we are hearing today that Obama and McCain are statistically tied. Don't believe it. A person in their mid 20s, who has only known a cell phone since high school is unlikely to waste money purchasing a land line service. And a growing number of people, myself included, have realized that the home phone has become simply a means for solicitors and pollsters to call you. And we are opting out. Anyone who needs me has my cell number.

File pollsters into the growing category of professions rendered useless by technology.

Call Now. Operators are Standing By

Hey, radio copywriters, unless your 800 number is REALLY easy to remember, like 1-800-800-8000, then I don't want to hear it. And I really don't want to hear it three times in a row by some idiot announcer. I'm not writing it down. EVER. Not in the car (which is the only place I listen to the radio), nor even in my tool-shed when I'm an old man and I have a pencil or pen handy as I put the finishing touches on my invention that remotely tortures stupid radio copywriters, leaving no evidence that I was the one who did it. No one remembers your number. If your client is insisting that the phone number be included in the ad, tell them they are stupid and they need to find another writer.

Get a website. And get a URL that is easy to remember, And don't tell me "www" when you mention your URL. Idiots.

And why do all the stupid websites use a customer service stock photo of the beautiful operator who doesn't exist in any call center anywhere in the world?