Call Now. Operators are Standing By

Hey, radio copywriters, unless your 800 number is REALLY easy to remember, like 1-800-800-8000, then I don't want to hear it. And I really don't want to hear it three times in a row by some idiot announcer. I'm not writing it down. EVER. Not in the car (which is the only place I listen to the radio), nor even in my tool-shed when I'm an old man and I have a pencil or pen handy as I put the finishing touches on my invention that remotely tortures stupid radio copywriters, leaving no evidence that I was the one who did it. No one remembers your number. If your client is insisting that the phone number be included in the ad, tell them they are stupid and they need to find another writer.

Get a website. And get a URL that is easy to remember, And don't tell me "www" when you mention your URL. Idiots.

And why do all the stupid websites use a customer service stock photo of the beautiful operator who doesn't exist in any call center anywhere in the world?

Embrace the Suck

Bad writing + bad voiceover = bad commercial.

Thanks to a local radio guy who forwarded me the MP3, I can now share with you the pain I endure as I hear this spot about four times a day. I'm a sadist that way, I know. But you'll love it. Trust me.

See if what I told you last week about this horrendous commercial isn't true. Listen as Michelle and Zack discuss their horrible financial situations and how Patriot Financial was able to help them with a mortgage.



Can't you tell that Michelle and Zack are almost sure to default on their new loans?