Thursday, March 27, 2008

Band Names from Google News

You've poured your heart into those lyrics. Some of the words were fueled by love, others by loss, more than a few by lust. You and your mates have practiced, sometimes through the night, and your fingers have made grooves in the frets. Your boss said, "Get a haircut," and so you quit that stupid job right there on the spot, giving your boss the finger as you strolled away in your leather jacket. You've starved yourself to fit into your tight jeans and torso-sucking tiny t-shirt. You took your new Chuck Taylors into the mud and grime so no one would know they were new. You're ready. You're different. You're going to be huge in Japan.

But that big break hasn't come yet. The record companies won't send a rep to listen. Your CDs sent in the mail never get a response. The only clubs you can book want you to play classic rock covers for drunken old bikers. Even your MySpace page is seeing very little traffic. Life is sucking and you're almost ready to close the curtain on this music dream.

Buck up, little rebels. You may just need to rebrand. Take on a new name.

Try one of these, culled from today's Google News headlines.

  • Grounded for Safety
  • Expelled Official
  • The Dim Lamps
  • Mozzarella Scare
  • Gunfire Highway
  • Baghdad Blast
  • The DB Coopers

  • And if you don't like any of those, here are a bunch more.

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