Band Names from Google News

Volume XXVI, Number 5, likely.

How you ever gonna get the labels to notice you, little rebels, if you can't even garner a measly following on MySpace or Facebook? Here's the trick: you need to name yourself something unique. And don't just look around your apartment and see something and try to make a band name out of it, because "Girlfriend's Hairbrush" or "Empty Cat Food Can" are just lame names for your group. Go to Google News. There is a daily trove of possibilities waiting for you. Like today. Click the name to see what inspired it.

• The Dry Eyes
• Chocolate Love
• Bubba's Heart
• Raising Eyebrows
• The Buzz Biffs
• Immediate Withdrawal
• Crippled By Desire

For more in this series, see here.

Band Names From Google News (The Reunion Tour)

A formerly popular feature on this blog was "Band Names from Google News" (See here for the archives) in which I conduct a cursory glance of Google news headlines and come up with names for your fledgling act that is currently wowing the kids over at MySpace.

I thought I'd bring it back, at least for a day. Below are the names gathered from today's headlines, with links to the stories that inspired the names.

• Dark Side of Funny (link)
• Up To The Hype (link)
• Some Immunity (link)
• Plastic Logic (link)
• Elvis Birthday (link)
• The Genius Scandal (link)
• Wholesale Power Trade (link)

And speaking of MySpace, check out these punks from Scotland. (Thanks, @everysandwich.)

Band Names from Google News

A neglected feature, now nearing 200 entries, for all you post-punk-neo-soul-ska-garage-death-speed-alt-pop-emo-hair-scene-scream-hip-R&B-hop-heavy-Americana artists seeking a catchy name for your group/act. Or maybe you just need to rebrand. Your name was cool a few years ago, but maybe "Black Socks Bedroom Floor" was a little too out there.

The gist: scan Google News headlines and find names that would evoke intrigue and prompt the teeming masses to buy your shirts, wear your hats, attend your shows and maybe, just maybe, make you a profit. (With links to the actual news items.)

Increasingly Perilous
The Meat Plants
Leaked Memo
A Year in Prison
Doggy Damage
Ready to Cooperate
Their Own Monarchs

Here are 186 other choices.

Band Names from Google News

Time to revive that old series (it's been over two months since the last installment) wherein I invent seven names for your fledgling musical group based on today's headlines from Google News.

• Serena Slams Safina
• Issues of the Middle Class
• The War Children
• Logic Bomb
• Heatwave Chaos
• Eight Times The Ethical Questions
• Super Bowl Jesus

Here are 179 more.

Band Names from Google News

Bringing back an old feature, wherein I invent names for your fledgling musical group based on today's headlines, with explanations in footnotes.

Here are 172 more.

• Keep Your Chair¹
• Space Station Lube²
• Super Tanker Pirate³
• Too Sick to Travel⁴
• Cuban Cubs⁵
• Gorillas and Guerillas⁶
• Cool to Amnesty⁷

1. Democrats tell Lieberman to shut up and do as he's told and keep his silly little chairmanship of whatever, which they will strip him of as soon as he steps out of line.
2. Astronauts are doing an oil change on the International Space Station.
3. A Saudi oil tanker is being hijacked off Somalia.
4. Michael Jackson's doctor says he can't make it to some court case, even though you know he ran to Macy's when he heard "boys pants are half-off."
5. Mark "Asshole" Cuban was trying to buy the Chicago Cubs.
6. Somewhere in that giant country of Africa, I think in the Congo, a bunch of rebel fighters are messing with the habitat of some precious endangered species.
7. US not so sure they want to grant immunity to a Taliban guy.

Band Names from Google News - with Footnotes

If I've told you once, I've told you at least 21 times. In a world of never ending replication, where one angst-filled band sounds exactly like the next one, you need more than tight jeans with white belts to set yourselves apart. You need more than clever rhymes and poseur street-smarts. You need more than a MySpace account and black t-shirts. More than even a gimmicky haircut and carefully applied eye makeup. You need a name. You need a brand. Allow me to help. These possible band names come from this morning's headlines on Google News. The links at bottom will take you to the stories from which the names come.

• Dark Turn¹
• Statement from a Dog²
• Bad Lonely Schoolboys³
• Scandalous Dairy⁴
• Amid Uncertainty⁵
• Fair Flynn⁶
• The Animals Engineered⁷

1. Condoleezza Rice says Russia has taken a dark turn.
2. The Georgia Bulldogs need to make a statement.
3. Schoolboy Islamist jailed for two years.
4. China dairy ordered milk off shelves.
5. Malaysia's #2 leader delays trip amid uncertainty.
6. Former Boston Mayor Raymond Flynn in fair condition.
7. FDA releases guidelines for genetically engineered animals.

Here are 165 more.

Band Names From Google News

You set up your MySpace music site. You uploaded your logo to Cafe Press. Your sister and your cousin are telling all their friends to download your sure-to-be-a-smash-hit song "Second Lunch Kiss," and you and your bandmates have all bought really tight low riding girl jeans and white belts, even the chubby bassist, who looks really stupid in them. But for whatever reason, the big label deal hasn't arrived yet. Maybe it's because your band's name just isn't touching the masses. Sure, it's obscure and mysterious, but you might need to consider a new one. I offer you these, based on today's headlines at Google News.

• Forty-Five Year Dream
• Here Comes Gustav
• Desperation Prevails
• Safe Passage
• Arson House
• Jail For Mom
• Tequila Nightmare

Here are 158 more.

Band Names from Google News

It's that time of the week, (been a few weeks, sorry) when I give you a replacement name for your struggling musical act based on today's headlines at Google News.

• Hurtful Handshake
• Beijing Lip Sync
• 100-Meter Butterfly
• Bigfoot Buzz
• Trickle Back Home
• Ko Lin Pow
• Mark Penn & the Wolf Sons

Here are 151 more.

Band Names from Google News - SPECIAL EDITION

This will be the first time that all seven band names from Google News come from one story, an unconfirmed story that you may not know about, since (most of) the media is pretty much not reporting it, because it pretty much is nothing but rumor at this point. But still, surely one of these names would be a great name for your band.

• Love Child
• Beverly Rendezvous
• Not Good, Johnny
  
• Enquirer's Notebook
  
• Hilton Baño
• Ashen Faced
• Condition of Anonymity

Here are 144 more.

Band Names from Google News - Yet Again

How’s that MySpace band thing working out for you? Me, not so great.

Perhaps we need to change our names. I may rework all my music to some sort of alt-country Americana and perform under the name “Wichita Starbucks.” (Gonna have to buy some new clothes.)

The premise of this continuing series is: I scan Google Headlines and come up with band/music act names based on today’s happenings in the news.

• Intensified Attack
• Roar to Life
• Lay Down Green
• Wichita Starbucks
• Uninspired and Undecided
• Testing Positive
• Clergy Defecting

Here are 137 more.

Rebrand Your Band

You ask for it, I hotkey over to a Word doc when someone enters my space as I deliver it to you. It's Band Names from Google News, a regular feature. This time with links to show you where the band name comes from. The premise is: You ain't goin' nowhere with your stupid band name. Rebrand your band.

• Nation of Whiners (link)
• Fannie Freddie Slide (link)
• Knütkütter (link)
• Pope Going Down (link)
• Graphic Novices (link)
• The Christie Crusade (link)
• Roman Apples (link)

Here are an additional 130.

Image is actually of German thrash metal band Kreator, found on a Google image search for, of all things, "German thrash metal band."

Because You Demand It: Band Names From Google News

And I aim to please. You're the customer, and the customer is...what? That's right- always right, even when they're wrong.

This week's band name suggestions for your fledgling musical act/group come with links to the stories, proving that I don't write this stuff. It writes itself.

• Weapons at Home (link)
• Cooling Tower (link)
• The Rich Opponents (link)
• Mayo Love Swap (link)
• Mama's Liquor Cabinet (link)
• New Poll Blow (link)
• My Enormous Legacy (link)

Here's 123 more, if nothing here suits your tastes.Photo is actually of Atlanta-based The Coathangers

Hip-Hop-Lite-Pop-Metalists, I Got Your New Name

You know the way this works by now. Perusing Google News Headlines, I come up with seven names for musical acts each week. This week, I will suggest what sort of act/genre should take each name. But since genres are so specialized and drilled-down these days, I will be very specific.

Finding Ice

Euro retro-techno

Conducting a Drill

alt-emo-house-prog-rock

The Star Alliance

supergay 80s hair-arena-metal revival

Shadow of a Smile

male/female dark singer-songwriter duo on the verge of a breakup

The Angry Clerics

christian-thrash-drug-metal

Vancouver Footwear

emo-pop-neo-grunge

Extra Solar Earth

Thai rap-hip-hop-ska

Do you have any more, Jetpacks? Uh...yes. About 118 more.

(Title of post stolen from a certain Canadian power-trio.)

It's Now a Habit - Band Names from Google News

Nothing big is going to happen for your musical act unless you change your name to something better. (Note: this does not apply to DJs, who merely need to rearrange the letters of their first or last names preceded or followed by two initials.) Here are some new names you can try out this weekend at your seedy Open Mic hangout, courtesy of Google News headlines.

• Fight the Smears
• Deafening Howl
• The Soda Bottlers
• Settling Dust
• An Object Floating
• Blackberry Turf
• Supreme Disgrace

Here are 111 more

Band Names From Google News

I'm late on this, I know. Here are the weekly seven band or musical act names you can use for your sure-to-be-a-huge-success endeavor, pulled from the headlines of Google News.

• Martyrs in The Making
• Feinstein's Parlor
• Quake Lake
• Survive The Dive
• The Crane Inspectors
• The Discount Rivals
• Clint Spike

Here are 104 more.


On an image search for "punk band," the above trio, Exeter, UK-based Dead Frequency, came up. They have lots of MySpace friends. Good luck, guys.

Band Names From Google News (with Links!)

Does your band need a name? Look no further than Google News Headlines.

In this episode of Band Names from Google News, I’m providing links to the stories that inspired the band names, lest you think I just come up with these stupid things all by myself.

• Penguins Breathing
• Not The Scott We Knew
• Badland Breeze
• Governor’s Girl
• Breakfast Jihad
  
• Monarch No More
• Kleen Nood

1. Pittsburgh wins a game against Detroit in the Stanley Cup Finals
2. White House spokesperson Dana Perino on Scott McClellan’s new book
3. Hillary Clinton told South Dakota voters she envisioned that state as “the Saudi Arabia of Wind Farming.”
4. Charlie Crist of Florida brought a woman to McCain’s ranch, surprising most of us here. Also, Gibbons of Nevada is seeking a divorce and his wife says he has a girlfriend.
5. Dunkin’ Donuts pulls a Rachel Ray ad because loud mouthed Right-Wing-Babe-of-the-Month Malkin didn’t like her head-scarf.
6. Nepal’s new government declares itself a republic.
7. A man in Florida was robbed of $40,000 in jewelry by a nude maid service he hired while his wife was on vacation. She’s divorcing him now.

I've got 97 more if nothing here works for you.

Band Names From Google News

I said this was a "sporadic Thursday series," but now I feel an obsessive obligation to do it every Thursday. Part XIV.

For the newcomers, it goes like this: Thousands of hopeful artists and starry-eyed noisemakers the world over are gathering in garages and creating music. Maybe they do it on the bedroom computer. Doesn't matter. What they need before they ever strike that first discordant chord or pen that first clever rhyme is a marketing plan. More than that, they need a name to market, because dream though they will of "changing the world with music," the music can flat out suck as long as the group has a carefully cultivated image coupled with a winning strategy. Just ask Fall Out Boy. It's quite easy to find a promising band name, courtesy of today's headlines on Google News.

• Day of Strikes
• Peace and Placards
• Trash Crisis
• The Veeps
• Arizona Barbecue
• Fifteen Dollar Suitcase
• Pain at The Pump
  

I've got 90 more if nothing here works for you.

If It's Thursday, It Must Be...

...Band Names From Google News. (This is getting old, I think.)

Part XIII in a sporadic Thursday series

It’s become fashionable, some would say downright smart, to name your one-man/one-woman singer/songwriter act something besides your given name. Good example is Sea Wolf, known as a “band,” but in reality is just one guy. Unless you have a simple name that almost sounds made up, like say Joe Smith or maybe Jack Johnson, you need something better. And Mr. Johnson might do well to rebrand himself at this stalled point in his career. I would suggest “Barefoot Stoner Repetition.” You may also use your own name if it's some sort of bizarre joke. Like if you're a black man and you have a goofy white name, you will be successful, no matter your level of talent. Just ask Lenny Kravitz.

So anyway, all you lone-wolf dudes and chicas singing your hearts out in crappy clubs on open mic nights, here are some names you might try on, gleaned from today’s headlines at Google News.

• Inevitable Cloak
• Molotov Mullet Man
• Cool at Cannes
• A Bit Wary
• The French Teachers
• Question Direction
• Sorry I Called You Sweetie

I’ve been known to pose as Radio Free Babylon.

Here are 83 more.

Another "Band Names From Google News!"

Part XII in a sporadic Thursday series

It’s not like the old days, when you could say, “Hey! Let’s call ourselves The Vandals or The Wallflowers or The Cure or The Clash.” You can’t be “The” anything and expect a second look, unless it’s really outstanding like “The Fall of Man,” “The Icelandic Hookers” or “The Syringes.”

Better to call yourself something strange and curious, the better to draw the masses to your logo and merch marketing plan, which is what you’re after anyway, as your music is crap. (I’m talking to you Panic! At The Disco.)

So, young dreamers, ditch the dumb name and find a better one, courtesy of today’s headlines at Google News.

• Senator Zombie
• Fossella’s Daughter
• Colorvoter
• Magic Pistons
• 4000 Farm Workers
• Reeling from a Drubbing
• Substantial Threat

I've got 76 more.

More Band Names from Google News

Part XI in a sporadic Thursday series

So your band broke up and the founder claims rights to the name? Don’t fight him in court. His vision for the group was stupid anyway and a clean break from him and his dictatorial ways is what you and the rest of the group need. You also need someone who can sing and play guitar. And write songs.

But first things first. You need a new name. Let me help. These are possible band/group/musical act names you can use, inspired by today’s headlines on Google News.

• The Mayors of London
• Madam Suicide
• Genetic Discrimination
• Poll Driven
• Billy Ray Pervert
• Belated Condemnation
• The New Mexican Doomsday Church

Nothing jumping off the page for you, huh? I've got 69 more. Try one of these.