Band Names from Google News

Bringing back an old feature, wherein I invent names for your fledgling musical group based on today's headlines, with explanations in footnotes.

Here are 172 more.

• Keep Your Chair¹
• Space Station Lube²
• Super Tanker Pirate³
• Too Sick to Travel⁴
• Cuban Cubs⁵
• Gorillas and Guerillas⁶
• Cool to Amnesty⁷

1. Democrats tell Lieberman to shut up and do as he's told and keep his silly little chairmanship of whatever, which they will strip him of as soon as he steps out of line.
2. Astronauts are doing an oil change on the International Space Station.
3. A Saudi oil tanker is being hijacked off Somalia.
4. Michael Jackson's doctor says he can't make it to some court case, even though you know he ran to Macy's when he heard "boys pants are half-off."
5. Mark "Asshole" Cuban was trying to buy the Chicago Cubs.
6. Somewhere in that giant country of Africa, I think in the Congo, a bunch of rebel fighters are messing with the habitat of some precious endangered species.
7. US not so sure they want to grant immunity to a Taliban guy.