Band Names from Google News

Volume XXVI, Number 5, likely.

How you ever gonna get the labels to notice you, little rebels, if you can't even garner a measly following on MySpace or Facebook? Here's the trick: you need to name yourself something unique. And don't just look around your apartment and see something and try to make a band name out of it, because "Girlfriend's Hairbrush" or "Empty Cat Food Can" are just lame names for your group. Go to Google News. There is a daily trove of possibilities waiting for you. Like today. Click the name to see what inspired it.

• The Dry Eyes
• Chocolate Love
• Bubba's Heart
• Raising Eyebrows
• The Buzz Biffs
• Immediate Withdrawal
• Crippled By Desire

For more in this series, see here.

Calle del Alfabeto

Bloggers, have you ever posted a video and then gone back to the post months later to find that the video has been removed by the original poster? Happens all the time here and this blog is littered with empty YouTube frames that make those posts pointless.

In some cases, it's a music publisher claiming copyright infringement, which in this day and age, is the dumbest move a music publisher/record label could make. When people are stealing your music from LimeWire and a host of other places, why not allow your music a little free play that doubles as promotion for your artist? Maybe someone sees this video of Prince (being painfully slow-hosted via two or three servers, with the original host being in Romania) and goes out and buys some Prince music on iTunes.

It could happen. Now please enjoy the funky fun of the Minnesota Vikings' most famous fan before it gets removed again.

Prince - Alphabet Street - Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

Band Names From Google News (The Reunion Tour)

A formerly popular feature on this blog was "Band Names from Google News" (See here for the archives) in which I conduct a cursory glance of Google news headlines and come up with names for your fledgling act that is currently wowing the kids over at MySpace.

I thought I'd bring it back, at least for a day. Below are the names gathered from today's headlines, with links to the stories that inspired the names.

• Dark Side of Funny (link)
• Up To The Hype (link)
• Some Immunity (link)
• Plastic Logic (link)
• Elvis Birthday (link)
• The Genius Scandal (link)
• Wholesale Power Trade (link)

And speaking of MySpace, check out these punks from Scotland. (Thanks, @everysandwich.)

¿Cómo te Llamas?

I was pleased to find this Flickr set of Bernie Fuchs illustrations. I have learned that Mr. Fuchs was a big deal in the golden era of advertising, when "graphic artist" actually meant "artist." His paintings always evoke the good life that advertising of the 50s and 60s promised, when the swarthy folks were either musicians serenading vacationers or bartenders mixing the classy people another round of drinks.

I don't suppose Bernie was mad at the world because he wasn't being shown in galleries, and was instead on the pages of every magazine in his day. This one was for Gallo Sherry. (Yes, I know, weird. People used to drink sherry.) I have "repurposed" it for my own amusement.

Blow it up

Hide Your Product, Guaranteeing Less People See it!

Nice work, Universal Music Group (and most major labels). In your paranoid attempt to hold on to your "intellectual property rights" and your stunningly stupid, reactionary response to "piracy," you prevent bloggers or Facebookers from sharing your stuff.

Chances are very good that if someone posts a video of Grinspoon doing a cover of "Don't Change," some people might go to iTunes and buy it for a dollar. Not happening as long as you play this baby game.

Band Names from Google News

A neglected feature, now nearing 200 entries, for all you post-punk-neo-soul-ska-garage-death-speed-alt-pop-emo-hair-scene-scream-hip-R&B-hop-heavy-Americana artists seeking a catchy name for your group/act. Or maybe you just need to rebrand. Your name was cool a few years ago, but maybe "Black Socks Bedroom Floor" was a little too out there.

The gist: scan Google News headlines and find names that would evoke intrigue and prompt the teeming masses to buy your shirts, wear your hats, attend your shows and maybe, just maybe, make you a profit. (With links to the actual news items.)

Increasingly Perilous
The Meat Plants
Leaked Memo
A Year in Prison
Doggy Damage
Ready to Cooperate
Their Own Monarchs

Here are 186 other choices.

Band Names from Google News

Time to revive that old series (it's been over two months since the last installment) wherein I invent seven names for your fledgling musical group based on today's headlines from Google News.

• Serena Slams Safina
• Issues of the Middle Class
• The War Children
• Logic Bomb
• Heatwave Chaos
• Eight Times The Ethical Questions
• Super Bowl Jesus

Here are 179 more.

It's Now a Part of The Pop Lexicon

At least for the next couple of weeks, which is how pop-culture works these days. It's Toyota's much-maligned "Saved By Zero" commercial set to a re-dubbed GI Joe cartoon. Or maybe that's a re-dubbed GI Joe cartoon set to a "Saved by Zero" commercial. Whatever. Enjoy the random.



Oddly, Universal Music Group refuses to allow embedding of the original video from 80s band The Fixx. You'd think a record label would take any press and exposure it could get in this market. I'm sure The Fixx are enjoying their renewed notoriousness notoriety infamy fame.

Band Names from Google News

Bringing back an old feature, wherein I invent names for your fledgling musical group based on today's headlines, with explanations in footnotes.

Here are 172 more.

• Keep Your Chair¹
• Space Station Lube²
• Super Tanker Pirate³
• Too Sick to Travel⁴
• Cuban Cubs⁵
• Gorillas and Guerillas⁶
• Cool to Amnesty⁷

1. Democrats tell Lieberman to shut up and do as he's told and keep his silly little chairmanship of whatever, which they will strip him of as soon as he steps out of line.
2. Astronauts are doing an oil change on the International Space Station.
3. A Saudi oil tanker is being hijacked off Somalia.
4. Michael Jackson's doctor says he can't make it to some court case, even though you know he ran to Macy's when he heard "boys pants are half-off."
5. Mark "Asshole" Cuban was trying to buy the Chicago Cubs.
6. Somewhere in that giant country of Africa, I think in the Congo, a bunch of rebel fighters are messing with the habitat of some precious endangered species.
7. US not so sure they want to grant immunity to a Taliban guy.

Band Names from Google News - with Footnotes

If I've told you once, I've told you at least 21 times. In a world of never ending replication, where one angst-filled band sounds exactly like the next one, you need more than tight jeans with white belts to set yourselves apart. You need more than clever rhymes and poseur street-smarts. You need more than a MySpace account and black t-shirts. More than even a gimmicky haircut and carefully applied eye makeup. You need a name. You need a brand. Allow me to help. These possible band names come from this morning's headlines on Google News. The links at bottom will take you to the stories from which the names come.

• Dark Turn¹
• Statement from a Dog²
• Bad Lonely Schoolboys³
• Scandalous Dairy⁴
• Amid Uncertainty⁵
• Fair Flynn⁶
• The Animals Engineered⁷

1. Condoleezza Rice says Russia has taken a dark turn.
2. The Georgia Bulldogs need to make a statement.
3. Schoolboy Islamist jailed for two years.
4. China dairy ordered milk off shelves.
5. Malaysia's #2 leader delays trip amid uncertainty.
6. Former Boston Mayor Raymond Flynn in fair condition.
7. FDA releases guidelines for genetically engineered animals.

Here are 165 more.

Band Names From Google News

You set up your MySpace music site. You uploaded your logo to Cafe Press. Your sister and your cousin are telling all their friends to download your sure-to-be-a-smash-hit song "Second Lunch Kiss," and you and your bandmates have all bought really tight low riding girl jeans and white belts, even the chubby bassist, who looks really stupid in them. But for whatever reason, the big label deal hasn't arrived yet. Maybe it's because your band's name just isn't touching the masses. Sure, it's obscure and mysterious, but you might need to consider a new one. I offer you these, based on today's headlines at Google News.

• Forty-Five Year Dream
• Here Comes Gustav
• Desperation Prevails
• Safe Passage
• Arson House
• Jail For Mom
• Tequila Nightmare

Here are 158 more.

Band Names from Google News

It's that time of the week, (been a few weeks, sorry) when I give you a replacement name for your struggling musical act based on today's headlines at Google News.

• Hurtful Handshake
• Beijing Lip Sync
• 100-Meter Butterfly
• Bigfoot Buzz
• Trickle Back Home
• Ko Lin Pow
• Mark Penn & the Wolf Sons

Here are 151 more.

Band Names from Google News - SPECIAL EDITION

This will be the first time that all seven band names from Google News come from one story, an unconfirmed story that you may not know about, since (most of) the media is pretty much not reporting it, because it pretty much is nothing but rumor at this point. But still, surely one of these names would be a great name for your band.

• Love Child
• Beverly Rendezvous
• Not Good, Johnny
  
• Enquirer's Notebook
  
• Hilton Baño
• Ashen Faced
• Condition of Anonymity

Here are 144 more.

Band Names from Google News - Yet Again

How’s that MySpace band thing working out for you? Me, not so great.

Perhaps we need to change our names. I may rework all my music to some sort of alt-country Americana and perform under the name “Wichita Starbucks.” (Gonna have to buy some new clothes.)

The premise of this continuing series is: I scan Google Headlines and come up with band/music act names based on today’s happenings in the news.

• Intensified Attack
• Roar to Life
• Lay Down Green
• Wichita Starbucks
• Uninspired and Undecided
• Testing Positive
• Clergy Defecting

Here are 137 more.

Rebrand Your Band

You ask for it, I hotkey over to a Word doc when someone enters my space as I deliver it to you. It's Band Names from Google News, a regular feature. This time with links to show you where the band name comes from. The premise is: You ain't goin' nowhere with your stupid band name. Rebrand your band.

• Nation of Whiners (link)
• Fannie Freddie Slide (link)
• Knütkütter (link)
• Pope Going Down (link)
• Graphic Novices (link)
• The Christie Crusade (link)
• Roman Apples (link)

Here are an additional 130.

Image is actually of German thrash metal band Kreator, found on a Google image search for, of all things, "German thrash metal band."

Because You Demand It: Band Names From Google News

And I aim to please. You're the customer, and the customer is...what? That's right- always right, even when they're wrong.

This week's band name suggestions for your fledgling musical act/group come with links to the stories, proving that I don't write this stuff. It writes itself.

• Weapons at Home (link)
• Cooling Tower (link)
• The Rich Opponents (link)
• Mayo Love Swap (link)
• Mama's Liquor Cabinet (link)
• New Poll Blow (link)
• My Enormous Legacy (link)

Here's 123 more, if nothing here suits your tastes.Photo is actually of Atlanta-based The Coathangers

Hip-Hop-Lite-Pop-Metalists, I Got Your New Name

You know the way this works by now. Perusing Google News Headlines, I come up with seven names for musical acts each week. This week, I will suggest what sort of act/genre should take each name. But since genres are so specialized and drilled-down these days, I will be very specific.

Finding Ice

Euro retro-techno

Conducting a Drill

alt-emo-house-prog-rock

The Star Alliance

supergay 80s hair-arena-metal revival

Shadow of a Smile

male/female dark singer-songwriter duo on the verge of a breakup

The Angry Clerics

christian-thrash-drug-metal

Vancouver Footwear

emo-pop-neo-grunge

Extra Solar Earth

Thai rap-hip-hop-ska

Do you have any more, Jetpacks? Uh...yes. About 118 more.

(Title of post stolen from a certain Canadian power-trio.)

It's Now a Habit - Band Names from Google News

Nothing big is going to happen for your musical act unless you change your name to something better. (Note: this does not apply to DJs, who merely need to rearrange the letters of their first or last names preceded or followed by two initials.) Here are some new names you can try out this weekend at your seedy Open Mic hangout, courtesy of Google News headlines.

• Fight the Smears
• Deafening Howl
• The Soda Bottlers
• Settling Dust
• An Object Floating
• Blackberry Turf
• Supreme Disgrace

Here are 111 more

Band Names From Google News

I'm late on this, I know. Here are the weekly seven band or musical act names you can use for your sure-to-be-a-huge-success endeavor, pulled from the headlines of Google News.

• Martyrs in The Making
• Feinstein's Parlor
• Quake Lake
• Survive The Dive
• The Crane Inspectors
• The Discount Rivals
• Clint Spike

Here are 104 more.


On an image search for "punk band," the above trio, Exeter, UK-based Dead Frequency, came up. They have lots of MySpace friends. Good luck, guys.

Band Names From Google News (with Links!)

Does your band need a name? Look no further than Google News Headlines.

In this episode of Band Names from Google News, I’m providing links to the stories that inspired the band names, lest you think I just come up with these stupid things all by myself.

• Penguins Breathing
• Not The Scott We Knew
• Badland Breeze
• Governor’s Girl
• Breakfast Jihad
  
• Monarch No More
• Kleen Nood

1. Pittsburgh wins a game against Detroit in the Stanley Cup Finals
2. White House spokesperson Dana Perino on Scott McClellan’s new book
3. Hillary Clinton told South Dakota voters she envisioned that state as “the Saudi Arabia of Wind Farming.”
4. Charlie Crist of Florida brought a woman to McCain’s ranch, surprising most of us here. Also, Gibbons of Nevada is seeking a divorce and his wife says he has a girlfriend.
5. Dunkin’ Donuts pulls a Rachel Ray ad because loud mouthed Right-Wing-Babe-of-the-Month Malkin didn’t like her head-scarf.
6. Nepal’s new government declares itself a republic.
7. A man in Florida was robbed of $40,000 in jewelry by a nude maid service he hired while his wife was on vacation. She’s divorcing him now.

I've got 97 more if nothing here works for you.