Stupid Ad That Thinks It's Clever #34,976

Clorox has been running these banners on AMC's Mad Men site with companion TV spots airing during the show.

So, first we wink at adultery. That's cute, but I'm not sure you want your brand associated with helping a guy cover up his indiscretions. Assumed in this clever line is that "ad guys" are a more philandering lot than say, gynecologists. Most ad guys I've known only wished they were so rakish, but their stupidity usually repelled the women.

But most preposterous in this ad is the assumption that an "ad guy" of generations ago would even know how to do his own laundry before his wife saw the lipstick stain. In fact, a man doing his own laundry in the '60s would likely arouse the suspicion of his wife.

Found in Don Draper's Wastebasket (#3)

If you enjoy Mad Men and haven't seen last night's episode, consider it spoiled it if you read this. (Click for large.)

More Letters From Don Draper's Wastebasket

Clickness = Bigness

Previously, a letter from the Jentzen offices in Portland.

Found in Don Draper's Trashcan

Mad Men - Unbuttoned

Mad Men Unbuttoned is, according to the publisher,  "a reader's companion to the show, a discursive look at American history during the mid century, and tasty eye candy." But that description doesn't really cut it. I'll try to do you one better.

The book is by journalist and advertising fan Natasha Vargas-Cooper, formerly the main voice behind Public School Intelligentsia, one of my favorite blogs before it was put out to pasture. She has written for Gawker and Huffington Post, among other publications, and is now a frequent contributor to The Awl. She is also, and this is putting it mildly, a serious student of Mad Men. Better yet, she is the professor of Mad Men. This book should be a textbook in advertising schools, but even for a casual fan of the show, it's a thoughtful journey into the transformative era in which the show takes place, covering everything from decor to literature, politics to sex. As an example of the depth of NVC's research (and an example of her out-of-control obsession with the show), she has an entry in here on what drives Sally Draper's grade school teacher to be such an idealist and why she bothers to attempt to get to the bottom of Sally's "acting out," citing books of the era that influenced young teachers. She even explains why Bert Cooper's office is decorated in an Asian theme. I just thought he was an eccentric old coot. After reading just a few entries, you get a better sense of how carefully crafted Mad Men is, revealing layers of the show that might otherwise appear superficial.

But what book about Mad Men would be complete without full-page color ads from the era, and bunches of them? It is also a history of the theories of advertising, and of the ad giants behind those theories, from Burnett to Ogilvy. I was honored to have been asked to write a short essay about a Bernie Fuchs illustration for the book. I got my galley in the mail yesterday. I'm looking forward to reading what @natashavc has put together. I just started it and have already come across a quote from the man behind Copyranter and an essay by Tim Siedell, better known as Bad Banana.

If you like the show, pre-order the book. If you know a fan of the show, buy it for them. If you teach advertising, make all of your students read it. In the author's words, it is for Mad Men fans, design junkies, history buffs and pop-culture enthusiasts. I'm sure you fall into at least one of those categories.

Hey, Don Draper: Who Mows Your Yard?

Those Who Can't, Critique. "Mad Men" - a Newbie's Take.

So I jumped on the "Mad Men" bandwagon only this year, curious to see if it was, as so many say, "The greatest show ever created in the history of creating shows on Earth, or for that matter, the Universe! To include all the shows that will ever be created in the future."

I enjoy the attention to detail in every episode, but my expectations for this show were set falsely high by the unending praise it has received. What I have seen in the last 13 slow-paced episodes of this trying-not-to-be-a-soap-opera Soap Opera is summed up below.


He's eccentric, he loves the Far East, he's a fat old man of unknown orientation who doesn't do any work. His appearance in any scene signals that we're going to hear melancholic yearnings for the old days, when an agency founder could go to Singapore and buy a young boy for an entire week for mere pennies on the dollar. Always in the same suit, he is slightly cantankerous but is also an open-minded type, not quick to judge a man for stealing a dead man's identity. In today's world, he'd be the guy who spouts the phrase, "It's all good!" so often that you'd want to punch him in the Adam's apple.

Speaking of not doing any work, this silver-haired, silver-tongued devil is king of fucking off. He is a cheating, lying, back-stabbing bastard who thinks the world is a set designed for him to stroll onto. When he's not around, he imagines that those parts of the world he just visited cease to exist until he steps back into them. He drinks from dawn 'til dawn, and then gets on the phone and talks smooth to all of his women. He's an old-fashioned bastard, and he knows he's a bastard, and he's easily the most compelling character on the show.

Never has the term "mousy" been better applied than to this young lady. Trying to find her way in a big mean industry in a big mean city, the secretary turned copywriter summons more lip-biting, shoulders-back resolve per episode than Mary Tyler Moore fit into an entire career of playing similar "dames." Expect her to be at the forefront of the Womens' Movement in future seasons, only in an I'm-not-sure-about-this way.

Sniveling, blue-blood, baby-faced punkass bitch of an account man, the actor portraying this guy is playing it as if it were meant for the stage. Everything is over-acted. I think he's channeling Dave Foley from "News Radio" and "Kids in the Hall." His pathetic existence is enabled by his wife, who dotes on him like the Mommy he needs. He wore a black turtleneck in the wake of the Kennedy assassination and will likely be listening to the Beatles or trying to join the Black Panthers in future seasons. Personally, I would like to see him try marijuana, and then go all Reefer Madness and jump in front of a train.

The 1960s ideal of sexy, she's the voluptuous, big-hipped lady not afraid to shake it in that Ginger from "Gilligan's Island" way. Married to a dick who is about to die in Vietnam, (foreshadowing on this show is about as clumsy as a Will Ferrell movie) she has a smooth way with men and a cat-like instinct with the women, none of whom have the hips to challenge her dominance. She will have multiple men in her life, none of whom will satisfy her the way the extra-large, chrome "electric toy" she got in "the Village" does.

"Mad Men" wants to be on the edge of societal issues, so they threw in this dude so they could address bigotry or tolerance or whatever. (Nevermind the Black people in the elevator.) Played like some sort of sashaying stereotype, sympathy for this guy is not easy to find. He's the closeted gay, and the world of 1963 is full of aggressive guys who recognize his leanings and they're all ready to take his pants off and have their way with him. By next season, he will be considering a "pioneering surgery" that will "free him to be who he was born to be." All of the other characters will understand this decision and encourage him.

A fixture in every agency, he's the guy struggling to be the hippest dude who ever lived. He's into Black Jazz, weed, cool clothes, facial hair and progressive politics. He will be jamming at Open Mic nights soon, probably playing the bongos. Trouble is he has no talent, sucks as a writer and is always getting shown up by better people in lower positions. He's annoying, has no apparent love life and thinks he's better than everyone. I predict a major nervous breakdown followed by electro-shock therapy, returning to the agency as a janitor.

Every ensemble cast, from the war movie to the campus comedy, needs a chubby kid with glasses. Enter this guy, a character so undeveloped and nondescript that you wonder why he is even around. I'm not even sure what he does, other than make sure commercials get played on the TeeVee. He will be the guy that the neighbors talk about to the news reporters in phrases like, "He was a quiet man," and "I never expected he could do something this awful."

She never smiles, despises her own children, drinks, smokes and pops pills, and hates that her marriage to the flim-flam man robbed her of her rightful place as the debutante with a scepter and a crown. She's about to carry on an affair with a weasel politico that can only end in disaster; i.e. she gets pregnant as they break up and becomes that lady with lots of children with varying last names. Age will not be kind to her and a botched face-lift will doom her to a life in the country, where the local boys won't honor her with the title MILF, but instead refer to her as "the former Cougar with the stretched eyes."

His father, who appears to him in night visions to berate him, said, "Look at your hands! They're soft as a woman's! What do you make? You grow bullshit." That sums up the business quite nicely. Now that his sins are catching up to him, perhaps our lead character can finally grow a set, maybe go to the Keys and start Cap'n Dick's Fishing Charter, maybe settle down to a life of drinking and smoking that doesn't involve ruining every life he comes in contact with. I think we're supposed to be sympathetic toward this guy, the insecure man behind a mask of security, but his wandering and pondering are starting to grate.

Mad Frenchmen

Everyone seems to be in agreement that Mad Men, the show about 1960s-era advertising, pretty much sucks.

Didn't watch it. Couldn't tell you. But in the spirit of suck, and because I enjoy making you cringe with me in perplexed wonder at what people were possibly thinking back in that era, I give you an extra helping of embarrassing nostalgia for your weekend pleasure. This is for Pepsi, 1965. From France. Swingin' times.



UPDATE: My mom called last night. Mom: "Did you watch Mad Men?" Me: "No. I heard it's terrible." Mom: "No. They're saying it's the best show on television."