How Disney Spins a Miscalculation

The Masters of Illusion. The Cult of The Mouse. The Price-Gouging Bringer of All Manner of Eurotrash To My Town.

I can go on forever with derogatory terms for the company that built Orlando, but they know what they're doing at all times. When everyone else is reporting dismal quarterly earnings, Disney's earnings go up 22%.

Disneyworld's Pleasure Island, a collection of themed clubs and hangouts that draw not just tourists, but many locals, will soon see the shuttering of six of those clubs. Company officials acknowledge that customers want "more broad-based dining and retail options." Broad-based? Is that code for, "Not enough blacks were frequenting the BET Soundstage Club," one of the clubs on the doomed list? Maybe it's copy like this, from the Pleasure Island website, that failed to connect with BET fans:

BET Soundstage™ Club – Bust a move on over to this two-story soundstage environment and groove on down to the dance floor where the DJ spins phat tunes from the latest hip-hop to old-school R&B favorites.

Bust a move? Groove on down? Phat? Yeah, best to shut that club fast. Surprised they didn't say "Slap my hand, black soul man!"

Also doomed: 8 Trax, a club that sounds like a nightmare if you believe the web copy:

8 Trax – Boogie oogie oogie to this '70s and '80s club for all your retro dancing favorites. If you love to get down to the Bee Gees, Donna Summer and the Village People, make tracks over to 8 Trax!

And what will Disney do with the closed clubs? In typical Disney-speak, which is akin to political-speak, they will only say that they have "A Bold New Vision."

Translation: More Harley-Davidson and NASCAR-themed stuff.

Gorgeous Lakefront w/ Weapons Cache

You know those real estate ads in the back of the New York Times Magazine on Sundays? The ones for homes you will never afford as a copywriter or art director? The ones in places like Bedford, NY or New Canaan, CT? They're fun to dream about, just in case your two-person startup agency lands, I don't know, the Boeing account or someone equally loaded. Saw this beautiful home and had to check it out online at Century21.com. (Click that link for the virtual tour.) It's a mammoth log cabin on a lake, with boat dock, guest house, garage with workshop, etc. It's the kind of place you could see yourself in a few years entertaining extended family and friends for the Holidays. Or maybe just the kind of place where you could tell the federal government to go to Hell while you stock up on weapons and form your own separatist society.

This lovely home is located in northern Idaho. My grandfather came from Idaho. Played fullback for the University of Idaho. Then he loaded up the truck and he moved to Diego.
So-Cal, that is.
Beaches.
Navy bases.

But alas, it seems Hayden, Idaho, where this $4 million charmer is situated, is also well-known as the former home to the Aryan Nations.

But times are changing here in the Great Melting Pot. The town of Hayden now has a 0.19% African-American population, and I hear you can even get BET on local cable there now.