There's Nothing Like a Surly Scottish Clog

I saw this local spot not long ago and was humored by the concept. How do you decide to give a clogged drain a Scottish accent a la Mike Myers? How do you decide to have the drain insulting the homeowner as a "freakin' hippie"? How do you decide to have the Scottish clog encouraging the homeowner to continue scratching his itch, calling her "sweetheart"? He's a stubborn, randy drain with an attitude. When you're selling local drain clearing, you have to think creatively. These people did. There are no happy men in trucks pulling up to the curb with a plumber's toolbox, smiling under sunny skies. All clichés avoided and a bathroom as the shoot location.



I emailed the owner of Farmers Drains a couple weeks ago asking if I could post his commercial. I inadvertently insulted him by calling the commercial "low budget," at which point he told me not to post anything about his business. He misunderstood my appreciation for his promotion and I forgot that any amount spent on production and air time for a small business is money that is hard to part with, especially in this climate. Since he now has an account on YouTube, I think I'm safe to share his work. I think it's also a safe bet that people in need of a rooter service are going to remember the name "Farmers" and the figure of $99, thanks to this spot.

Where's My Jetpack? The Book by Someone Else

Daniel Wilson and I share the same initials, and we share the same thoughts on the future we were promised; the one that never arrived. His book shares the name of this blog. That book just arrived in the mail. Its chapter titles could've been lifted from the lyrics of the song of the same name. It's printed on what seems to be 100 lb. glossy cardstock, with illustrations by Richard Horne of East London. I'll thumb through it and it shouldn't take long. Chapters are broken down into inventions that never really happened, starting with the jetpack. It is categorized under "humor," so I'm hoping for a couple of chuckles for my $14.95.

Mr. Wilson once contacted me, trying to get me to part with the domain Where's My Jetpack? Not happening. I suggested WhereISMyJetpack.com and he snapped it up. Mr. Wilson is a columnist for Popular Mechanics and earned a Ph.D. in robotics from Carnegie Mellon University. He authored another book that Mike Myers optioned the movie rights for, How to Survive a Robot Uprising. So, he's much smarter than me and he's been published. You might like his book.

This is the extent of my promotion of Mr. Wilson's book. He's presently on a book tour in the Pacific Northwest. I'm counting on him to make the phrase Where's My Jetpack? even more popular, preparing the way for me. Thanks, Daniel, and good luck. I hope you makes tons of money. Don't waste it on Rush albums, though.

For me, the phrase has always been about more than just inventions that didn't happen. The name of the blog is really tongue in cheek and does not speak to jetpacks alone. "Jetpack" is just a symbol for all the awesome goodness we were promised as children; a glorious future of peace and wealth and universal brotherhood, no death or sickness or strife. Heaven on Earth! (And sold to us by people like you and me - advertisers and marketers - with help from Disney, the government and Ray Bradbury.)

But that Utopian dream ain't happening anytime soon. Too many haters out there bent on destruction: Al Qaeda , Cho Seung-Hui, Alec Baldwin Kim Basinger and all the rest.

So, in that sense, it's hardcore cynicism, but I'll still be the first one in line when WalMart is selling cheap, reliable jetpacks.

Leo Burnett Robs Budding Filmmaker

As I noted back in early December, Nick Andrews of Helena, Montana created a viral sensation with his video "My Hands are Bananas" a great spoof of German techno, which Andrews says was inspired by the Mike Myers character Dieter of "Sprockets," back when SNL was funny.

So, late to the game and armed with a ripped off idea comes Leo Burnett with this ad for Altoids.

Advertising for Peanuts asks, "But what I really want to know is who's hands were bananas first? And does it really matter?"

I think it does matter. When a copywriter as celebrated and awarded as Bob Winter (who gave us genius moments like "Real Men of Genius") goes and borrows (synonyms: pilfer, filch, lift, appropriate, embezzle, pocket, purloin, thieve, rob, pinch, nick, whip) an idea off some kid trying to get into film school, credit is due the kid. Someone owes Nick Andrews a check - or at least an internship.

The original My Hands are Bananas was posted to YouTube in August of 2006 and was filmed in June, if I remember correctly. The new Altoids spot is from this month. Who's first? Short of a check, at least give the guy acknowledgement. George Parker would call this an "homage." I call it a hosejob.

But it is after all, only an idea; a guy with bananas coming out of his sleeves in place of hands. The original has been seen 2.6 million times on YouTube alone and was featured in an article in the Chicago Tribune, which surely is delivered to the offices of Leo Burnett daily. How long before some sort of appropriation happened? Maybe Andrews can just put this homage on his college applications.

Then again, if we track back, Winter gets his idea for an Altoids spot from the Andrews viral video and Andrews got the idea for his German techno guy from Mike Myers. I once heard Mike Myers say in an interview that Dieter was modeled after a German waiter who frequently served him in Toronto.

Someone find that waiter and we'll settle this.

"You have disturbed me almost to the point of insanity. There, I am insane now."

- Dieter