Match the "Celebrity" with their Bio

T-Mobile and their MyTouch, in association with Google, is reaching out to all you boomers who still think these people are funny. To me this only says T-Mobile is desperate.



a. I was an original SNL cast-member, but quit after I imagined the show was all about me. Cocaine will do that to a person. I did a few very forgettable movies and one good one, then disappeared, got fat and lost all my hair. Now my friends at NBC are trying to help me revive my career by putting me in a supporting role on a sit-com that is doomed to fail.

b. I did impersonations on SNL. I also did a thing with Mike Myers that became a couple of movies that made me some cash. When I blew up really big on the show, I ditched it in the hopes of becoming the next Bill Murray. It didn't work out. But I'm rich, so fuck you all.

c. My ticket into show-biz was my off-the-wall, ironic name. I did a few films that still pay enough royalties for me to keep an apartment in New York. I'm now on a daily panel of loud-mouthed opinionators who dictate the thoughts and buying habits of a bunch of sad and lonely people who watch us.

d. I had a few skits on SNL that were recurring, mostly that involved me showing my underwear in a sick and pathetic attempt at laughs. I also thought the movies were calling me, and left SNL for the bigtime, but I can't even name a single thing I was in that you would know.

e. I did a pretty good Bill Clinton on SNL. Sometimes they bring me back to do Cheney or Chris Matthews, but Lorne put me out to pasture after McCain lost. I now wear a sad face all the time.

University of Something or Other

SNL has always been, and will likely always be, about half funny, the other half not funny at all. It's a crap shoot on any given Saturday night. One thing SNL remains consistently good at is the fake commercial. Here is a not so subtle jab at the University of Phoenix and other such online schools. Even the logo for "Westfield" looks much like the University of Phoenix's.

Right Next to the Dog-Faced Boy

Of late, it is hard to turn on a TV, go to a store, amble about online or even visit some old folks in a nursing home without being accosted by the marketing campaign that is the media blitz underway for the new Star Trek film. OK, I didn't visit a nursing home, but even SNL trotted out Leonard Nimoy on Saturday for a nice little payday.

So, what with all the hype for what seems to be a pretty decent movie, I had to dig this up to show you what real acting is all about. It is a classic. It belongs next to Brando's Streetcar Named Desire scenes. Actually, it is far superior to that hack's posturing. Maybe it is akin to what's his name's stuff, the chubby dude who played Capote. Yeah, Phillip Morris-Hoffman. On second thought, it would be sacrilege to offer up that amateur's work against that of Canada's Greatest Export, William the Conqueror.

Ah, if only Shakespeare could've lived to see the the genius that is William Shatner; master thespian, interpreter of words, scene-stealing powerhouse!

(And Shakespeare wishes he wrote this scene.)

Our Special Guacamolito Sauce

Before there was This is Why You're Fat, there was this, from SNL.



This is Why You're Fat, however, has fast become a parody of itself, much like Passive Aggressive Notes. They both remind me of the old America's Funniest Home Videos show, which started innocently enough, and then became a repository of staged and fake videos, people desperate for a chance at the prize money. "Oh no! That tree fell right onto that old car? Everyone act amazed and alarmed!" But who cuts down a tree next to an old car - with a camera rolling? Now it's just people desperate for a chance at ten seconds of notoriety on a fleeting website, creating fake funny notes or disgusting recipes.

I mean really, tempura fried cheesecake with whipped cream?

Please Submit a Drawing of Your Raccoon Extermination Plan

All the good female comedians leave SNL and get better gigs, as the word on the street is that Lorne Michaels is a tightwad, egomaniacal bastard. OK, not true for Cheri Oteri, Ana Gasteyer, Nora Dunn, Jan Hooks and Maya Rudolph, although Rudolph's new movie looks promising in an indie-arthouse-under-the-radar-selected-cities kind of way. I guess I'm only thinking of Tina Fey. And now Amy Poehler.

In a bit of well-done advance press for Poehler's new sitcom "Parks and Recreation," NBC has created a subtle and wry site that mimics well the small, Midwestern city government website. It's fictitious Pawnee, Indiana, complete with a fake city seal depicting dead buffalo and denuded forests courtesy of the white man. The comedy is scattered in lightly in that Onion-y way, making people like me (who used to read Mad magazine cover to cover and even in the margins for fear of missing a hidden joke) scour the whole thing for cheap chuckles. And of course you can follow the upcoming show on Twitter.

Now This is Adverrtising

Advertising used to be a black art. It required subtlety and innuendo, vague nudging and then gentle calls to action. Whispers and suggestions. Before you knew it, you're at a bar saying, "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken." But we're too jaded and cynical for most of those methods now. Sure, lingerie and exotic cars can still be sold that way, but now we want you to make us laugh while you're selling your stuff. Baby e-trade is a good example.

Below, the self-mocking, self-aware ad reaches its high point. Nothing hidden here. No attempt to be subtle. Just product, in your face, done by a couple of established sketch comedians using one of their well-known sketches as the vehicle. From SNL last night, Will Forte and Kristen Wigg in "MacGruber" selling Pepsi with the real MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson.

The first one establishes the joke as a product placement.



The product placement gets more blatant.



Then, the over-the-top payoff.



Congratulations to Pepsi and their new agency, TBWA/Chiat/Day for pulling off this stunt. You think it's just another episode of MacGruber as they go into the commercial break, then you are sucked in by the ruse and you don't even care. It's comedy to sell Pepsi. And they even talked MacGyver out of retirement for the series. I can forgive that stupid logo change now.

But I'm a Coke man. As much as I admire this work, I'm not switching unless the restaurant I'm in only offers Pepsi. Honestly, my taste buds aren't so refined that I could actually tell much difference, but if I'm standing in front of two vending machines selling competing soft drinks, I'm probably going for the Coke. It's just a loyalty thing they conditioned me into believing years ago. If Pepsi wants to buy away my loyalty, we can talk.

Bring The Funny

Larger

UPDATE: Martin actually was funny. If only he would stick to sketch comedy, music or stand-up and leave the Jerry Lewis-styled movies alone. Bad plastic surgery forgiven, Steve.

Also of note: MacGruber/Pepsi. Pure genius advertising for the SNL-watching culture. Completelty self-aware and self-mocking, Pepsi and SNL teamed-up for the most shameless and hilarious commercials ever. When I can find the clip, I'll post it. Starring Will Forte in his usual role as the MacGyver knockoff. Extra touch of brilliance: also starring the real MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson.

Canadians are Funnier

Bill reminds me in a comment to a previous post that SNL is not funny. I keep forgetting that and end up torturing myself every Saturday night, like some sort of masochist of not-funny, waiting, waiting for a chuckle that never comes and cringing in embarrassment for a national institution that sucks.

"Kids in the Hall" was funny, even when it was stupid, as in this short skit.

Maybe I Will Watch SNL After All

I hear Sarah Palin is going to be on SNL tonight. I'm dreading that. I guess I fear she will be funny and win over a couple of dolts willing to overlook her extreme lack of substance. Maybe I will find her funny myself and start feeling sorry for her again, like I have a few times already in this campaign. (Whenever I get that feeling, I just watch one of her stump speeches and realize, "Oh, that's right. She's a crazy, divisive panderer and deserves every second of scorn that comes her way.") But, whatever. If your vote can be swayed by a cameo on SNL, then bless your heart. ("Bless your heart" is southern-speak for, "You need help.")

But the real fun on SNL tonight might come when way-too-serious-movie-actor-leading-man-action-hero-dude Mark Wahlberg finds Andy Samberg and brings down some retribution Middle School Style!

Watch him on Kimmel. Maybe it's a just a joke and Samberg is in on it and Wahlberg is not bad at comedy. I could see them setting this stunt up for viewership as well as promotion for Wahlberg's current movie.

Torturing Tina Fey

"In the tank" for Obama, the snarky bitch comedian Tina Fey thinks she's so funny. You wait. She'll get what's coming to her for her one-sided, liberal elite East Coast mainstream Georgetown cocktail party media crap!

Because "Bathroom Tissue" By Any Other Name...

...would still serve the same purpose.

Besides, it's not fun to call someone a "bathroom tissue."Go ahead and ridicule my P-Shop skills, but just so you know, I used "inner bevel" to piss you off on purpose.

And if anyone can locate this old SNL skit featuring Nick Cage, lemme know.

OK, So Maybe It's a Smart Strategy

In case you missed it, here's the edited version of Senator Barack Obama's appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend.



If you want to see the full version of the skit, it's here.

Obama has been doing these little appearances since before he announced as a candidate. He opened Monday Night Football in a very humorous way not long ago.

To me, Presidential politics represents both the pinnacle and the very darkest depths of advertising. Extensive market research. Fingers in the wind. The battle for the hearts and minds of Americans. Spin, lies, half-truths. Image. It's fascinating theater, and the intersection of politics and entertainment is blurrier than ever these days.

I gave Obama some crap last week for dancing with Ellen, but I'm starting to see the wisdom of his handlers in letting him do these self-effacing things. His goal right now is to beat Hillary. And when Lorne Michaels and his writers are developing scathing skits about her and asking you to join in the fun, it's probably a smart move to accept the invitation.

Once again, to disclaim: I'm a registered voter, but I am independent. Which is twice as fun, because come general election time, that makes me the target market for these image makers and media gurus who tell their candidates what to say and do.

Leo Burnett Robs Budding Filmmaker

As I noted back in early December, Nick Andrews of Helena, Montana created a viral sensation with his video "My Hands are Bananas" a great spoof of German techno, which Andrews says was inspired by the Mike Myers character Dieter of "Sprockets," back when SNL was funny.

So, late to the game and armed with a ripped off idea comes Leo Burnett with this ad for Altoids.

Advertising for Peanuts asks, "But what I really want to know is who's hands were bananas first? And does it really matter?"

I think it does matter. When a copywriter as celebrated and awarded as Bob Winter (who gave us genius moments like "Real Men of Genius") goes and borrows (synonyms: pilfer, filch, lift, appropriate, embezzle, pocket, purloin, thieve, rob, pinch, nick, whip) an idea off some kid trying to get into film school, credit is due the kid. Someone owes Nick Andrews a check - or at least an internship.

The original My Hands are Bananas was posted to YouTube in August of 2006 and was filmed in June, if I remember correctly. The new Altoids spot is from this month. Who's first? Short of a check, at least give the guy acknowledgement. George Parker would call this an "homage." I call it a hosejob.

But it is after all, only an idea; a guy with bananas coming out of his sleeves in place of hands. The original has been seen 2.6 million times on YouTube alone and was featured in an article in the Chicago Tribune, which surely is delivered to the offices of Leo Burnett daily. How long before some sort of appropriation happened? Maybe Andrews can just put this homage on his college applications.

Then again, if we track back, Winter gets his idea for an Altoids spot from the Andrews viral video and Andrews got the idea for his German techno guy from Mike Myers. I once heard Mike Myers say in an interview that Dieter was modeled after a German waiter who frequently served him in Toronto.

Someone find that waiter and we'll settle this.

"You have disturbed me almost to the point of insanity. There, I am insane now."

- Dieter