Idiocracy

Original image here.

Drinking The Kool-Aid

While I know Jim Jones and the Jonestown Massacre gave birth to the phrase "Drinking the Kool-Aid" to refer to people blindly following someone or something, this old spot I just happened upon while I was supposed to be working (how does that happen?) is pretty scary. The jingle is kept simple and repetitive, the better to brainwash these well-mannered youth of yesteryear.

That's What I've Spread on My Toast

While President Bush is over in China slapping backsides of bikini-clad athletes and basically making a chimp of himself, let's flash back some 49 years, lest we start to think that politics mixed with shameless commercialism and celebrity are something new.

Here's an interesting old commercial from Good Luck Margarine, in which former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt pitches the stuff in that now-extinct American accent known as "Hyde Park Glenda The Good Witch." Sounds and looks a lot like Aunt Bee from The Andy Griffith Show.



YouTube uploader says she was paid 35K for this :30. Pretty good money, I'd guess, by 1959 standards. As for Good Luck Margarine, I've never heard of it.

Outrace the Polizei in Your BMW

I would love an old BMW 2002, the car preferred by many German terrorists of the 1970s. In this ad, I'm not sure what is happening. A plane takes off and lands and then a 2002 does a slalom course through some cones while three BMW technicians look on. A stern announcer speaks over some lame, warbly jazz.

How very German. Was ist lost?

The Bucket List Sucks

At least that's what all the critics are saying. I could've told you that without seeing it.

Premise: Two old guys have terminal illnesses and go off on a world tour to do things they want to do before they kick the bucket.

Starring: Two overrated old actors.

Lemme Guess: Jack Nicholson plays a grizzled smartass who thinks he's a ladies man? And Morgan Freeman plays a wise old soul who teaches the rich, shallow man a thing or two about life? And Morgan Freeman will do a voiceover to help the crappy script along? Will madcap highjinx ensue? Will there be black/white bonding, life lessons, attempts to jerk tears?

And here's Morgan Freeman before he made it big, in an ad for Listerine, using as its unique selling proposition, "It tastes like hell, so it must be good."



There are more "Before they made it big" ads featuring other actors over at Cracked Magazine.