Thursday, July 10, 2008

Donuts and Golf

What up, dawg? Donut?Our production managers here in CubeWorld™ are always being visited by print reps. I suspect they are print reps because they are always carrying donuts when they enter the department. Then I am positive they are print reps when I hear the conversations they have with our production managers. They are masters of the superficial. They know when a new picture has appeared in a PM’s cubicle and will comment on it. They know that one PM’s wife just delivered a baby and they will talk about staying up all night with a crying infant. They know that another of our guys likes classic rock and the reps will chat him up about The Eagles or The Stones.

Small-talk is expected and a vendor rep has no choice but to engage in it. Those who do it better than others are likely more successful. But why are donuts the universal calling card of vendors? In this obesity-obsessed, saturated fat conscious culture, you'd think the donut's day was done. I've hated donuts since childhood. If I were a vendor’s rep, I’d show up with sushi. Or tickets to the classic rock concert for the guy who's into that.

And why is golf the universal business pastime? Why are deals supposedly made on the golf course? I have never golfed, don't want to golf, can't afford golf and pretty much hate most of the golfers I've ever known. If I were a vendor’s rep, I’d take my clients to the disc golf course.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share


  • One of our print vendors brings bagels and sends fruit arrangements, all delivered by their buxom blonde sales rep.

    This would explain why we stick with them, despite the fact they're prob. twice as expensive as the competition.

    By Anonymous M.M.McDermott, at July 10, 2008 at 2:27 PM  

  • I did not know we had a disc golf course here. But now I do.

    One of the printer reps at my last job brought snickers and reese's, he was evil.

    By Blogger Thinking In Vain, at July 10, 2008 at 3:08 PM  

  • I agree that golf is an extravagant use of arable land, but I have a theory as to its popularity as a business setting. Golf is one of the few sports to combine drinking with the game. The only others that come to mind immediately are fishing and bowling, which are more suited for getting your buddy to help you change out a truck engine than cutting business deals. It's a theory.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 10, 2008 at 4:58 PM  

  • only true evil hates donuts.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 11, 2008 at 2:43 PM  

  • Yes, anon. You are right.

    And your post belongs on a t-shirt.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at July 11, 2008 at 3:09 PM  

  • “Country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate!” — Al Czervik

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at July 12, 2008 at 10:37 PM  

  • You must realize that the douchision makers in companies are well, douches. This means that they must partake in a pass time that is grossly over priced, elitist, and that allows the easy exclusion of anyone that isn't in the Dick click (or clique or clic... I give two fucks about the correct spelling because someone once took the liberty of giving us a grammar lesson but I digress).

    About the donuts though, it's funny but just look at your average media department and you'd swear carbohydrates were the major decision breaker when choosing channels, suppliers and anything regarding anything at work.

    By Blogger Joker, at July 17, 2008 at 11:22 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home