Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Casa de Jetpacks sits on a canal near the Wekiva River Conservation Area, so it is not uncommon to encounter all manner of wildlife in the yard and around the neighborhood. Sand hill cranes are regular tenants, as are otters. Lizards, snakes and turtles are of course ubiquitous. Every morning and evening you can spot deer so tame that they just look at you as if you've interrupted their private breakfast or round of cocktails in their reserved room at the club. Hawks are always on the lampposts, and they are always being harassed by smaller birds, but the hawks just sit there cool as hell while being darted at by noisy little pests. The occasional alligator wanders into the yard. Earlier this week I got so tired of an armadillo rooting around in my garage and yard that I dispatched him to Armadillo Hell, where I'm sure all armadillos go upon expiring. And then sometimes we get bear, but only at night when the trash cans are on the street waiting to be emptied the following morning. Until today, that is, when a bold bear decided he'd have a broad daylight lunch of pears from the tree in the yard. The dog followed me out and scared him/her off with some vicious barking that had it been tested, would not have been backed up by any sort of bite. 

Got my copy of Mad Men Unbuttoned today in the mail. (I had already received a galley.) Written by Natasha Vargas-Cooper, it is a complete dissection of the era in which the hit series takes place, as well as THE authoritative history of ad agencies of the time - and just in time for the new season. Copyranter has an entry in there. So does Bad Banana. So do I. Buy it for the fan in your life. Now. (That was a call to action.)

Saw a tweet from Flashman of Sydney this morning. Seems there's a course on media, society and politics at the University of New South Wales that uses one of my Mike Adams cartoons on a handout promoting the course. Cool.

Saw another tweet today from Ad Pulp that announced a contest being put on by BBR Saatchi & Saatchi of Tel Aviv. They call it "The Impossible Brief." They're asking people to solve the Middle East Crisis, since Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush and Obama or any of their staff of career diplomats, or the UN, or Bono, or Madonna, or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie couldn't. Hell, no one can, can they? Since I'm not doing anything this summer in the way of real work, I took a stab. Frisbee, after all, is universal.

And I will commute weekly to Tel Aviv if that's what it takes to get an ad job in this economy.

Some Outtakes From The Previous Post

I'm calling this one, "Game Over," in which my dog, tired of catching a Frisbee for the camera, puts an end to the play.

Oh, Man - We're an Angry Country

Here's my second installment of "The Spin," the comic created by commenters on America's insanely partisan blogs. The woman with the ponytail gets her words from The Huffington Post, a far left spot, while the woman with the shorter hair gets her words from Town Hall, equally far right. (Yes, that's the classic Microsoft "Bliss" image in the background, a not-so-subtle wish that this stuff could ratchet down a couple notches.)

Click for the bigness

This new series was inspired by the purchase of some Frisbees yesterday.

My Head is Spinning - A Comic from Comments

I bought two Frisbees today. (A house can never have too many Frisbees.) I scanned the back of the package and made a comic out of the instructions that show you how to throw a Frisbee. (And what is Wham-O thinking with those instructions, printing them in French? Are they trying to hurt their sales in red states?)

It's called "The Spin."

Here's the fun part: the woman's words are copied and pasted verbatim from commenters at Fox News, while the man's words come directly from comments made at Huffington Post.

This shit makes itself up.

Click for super-size

More to come, if I know me.

Donuts and Golf

Our production managers here in CubeWorld™ are always being visited by print reps. I suspect they are print reps because they are always carrying donuts when they enter the department. Then I am positive they are print reps when I hear the conversations they have with our production managers. They are masters of the superficial. They know when a new picture has appeared in a PM’s cubicle and will comment on it. They know that one PM’s wife just delivered a baby and they will talk about staying up all night with a crying infant. They know that another of our guys likes classic rock and the reps will chat him up about The Eagles or The Stones.

Small-talk is expected and a vendor rep has no choice but to engage in it. Those who do it better than others are likely more successful. But why are donuts the universal calling card of vendors? In this obesity-obsessed, saturated fat conscious culture, you'd think the donut's day was done. I've hated donuts since childhood. If I were a vendor’s rep, I’d show up with sushi. Or tickets to the classic rock concert for the guy who's into that.

And why is golf the universal business pastime? Why are deals supposedly made on the golf course? I have never golfed, don't want to golf, can't afford golf and pretty much hate most of the golfers I've ever known. If I were a vendor’s rep, I’d take my clients to the disc golf course.

Frisbee® - Non-Toxic, Since 1958

Remember the good old days, when toys didn't get recalled for deadly paint? But there are many things about the good old days that are best left back there. Like this dude's shorts. And stupid jingles.



No longer an American company, Wham-O, makers of the Frisbee, sold to a Hong Kong company last year - toy and game manufacturer Cornerstone Overseas Investments, Limited.

So if your dog dies after catching too many Frisbee tosses in the backyard, maybe something in that Chinese glow-in-the-dark plastic killed him.

Half a Century of Plastic Flatball

It's not a game; it's a lifestyle.

Via Archeress comes news that the Frisbee® is 50. I think there may even be a rare picture of the elusive Copyranter over at her blog. Could be wrong, but that guy looks just pissed enough to be him.

Here's my dog, Roman, after a successful catch earlier this year, momentarily distracted by one of the flea-bag cats from next door.

Style & Luxury Above & Beyond

That's the "Edwin Toe Cap Croc" from the Cole Haan "Collection." Price: $1,200. A handsome shoe, no? No, I agree, it is not. It should be worn exclusively by independently wealthy diplomats from far away countries. And likely is. Maybe some Wall Streeters or Midtown real estate investor types can pull off this look, but I'd be pretty damned embarrassed to be seen in $1,200 shoes.

But I obviously know nothing about footwear fashion, since I wear generic leather flip flops most days, and Vans^® if it's cold enough. So this two-page inside cover ad struck me as I was browsing through the Sunday New York Times' "Play" magazine, dedicated to sports and style. The copy explains that this is the new "state of the art driving shoe created in collaboration with Nike Lab." Driving shoe? DRIVING SHOE? Wait...Nike Lab?

I am now in need of a computing shoe, a sitting and having a beer shoe, a Frisbee^® shoe, a watching TV shoe, a mid-morning coffee shoe and a chips and salsa shoe. Maybe two pair of chips and salsa shoes, because the ones I wear with the medium salsa aren't quite right for those times I want to do the extra hot salsa.

Cole Haan needs to sell shoes; understood. But they've now invented the "state of the art" driving shoe. I just did a Google search for "driving shoes," (in quotes) and was presented with 107,000 results. I had no idea this market existed.

I'm tellin' ya, if you own shoes just for driving, you'd better be employed as a Formula 1 race car driver. I can put the pedal to the metal of your luxury sports car with my flip-flop and make it go just as fast. And my foot won't slip. Get a life, preppy idiot loser with too much money. They're laughing at you when you stop at the diner up the coast on your Sunday pleasure drive, wondering if you are an off-duty nurse.

Note to Frisbee, Vans and salsa makers: I accept gifts. (Size 10.5 to 11)