Two Point Owning Some Dead Designs

The State of Florida's flag design was approved by a popular referendum in 1900. I assume that means white men, since only they could vote then*. And these men were not concerned with the aesthetics of design. They were fighting snakes and Seminoles and wondering when someone would hurry up and invent air-conditioning. And they were likely only given one design to review. In 1900, no less.

"You like it or not?" the Florida government asked the white guys, and they were all, "Sure. Whatever. Got to have a flag, right?"

Supersize me

State flags are generally composed of uninspired variations on the state seal, maybe a Latin word or two, the date of statehood. Blah, boilerplate crap. Or they go with some goofy take on the American flag. (Talkin' to you Texas, Ohio, Hawaii, Mississippi.) I think California scores well, even if the image is kind of, oh, communist all around. My other favorites, only because they didn't do what you'd expect, are the flags of Tennessee, Arizona, Alaska, South Carolina and New Mexico. Honorable mentions go to Colorado, Rhode Island, Arkansas and Indiana for the extra effort. For sheer balls and against-the-grain rebelliousness, Alabama gets good marks for their punk rock flag that isn't even properly shaped. Or maybe that's a Confederate X, in which case, nevermind.

I get the feeling that the cool ones were designed by one person and the crappy ones were designed by a few committees reaching a compromise that satisfied no one. Then they ran it by the Governor's wife and her best friend, who used to work for the high school yearbook and knows a thing or two about "the proper placement of elements so as to draw the viewer into an experience with the piece." She said, "Make that green a little greener. And does the guy in the coonskin cap have his fly open?" Once the Governor's wife's best friend was done adjusting the design, they put it to a referendum of the white menfolk. In 1900.

I think State governments should overhaul their images once in a while. They do it with their license plates all the time. Hey, Maryland! What the fuck is going on in that seizure-inducing, nightmare illusion? Oregon. Really? A cartoon beaver? C'mon, Idaho. You're not even trying.

Isn't it time we 2.0'd some of these ugly old relics?




* Yes, I know Blacks were given the vote post-Civil War, but the quickly adopted Poll Tax in the Southern states sort of prevented a lot of Blacks from voting.

Donuts and Golf

Our production managers here in CubeWorld™ are always being visited by print reps. I suspect they are print reps because they are always carrying donuts when they enter the department. Then I am positive they are print reps when I hear the conversations they have with our production managers. They are masters of the superficial. They know when a new picture has appeared in a PM’s cubicle and will comment on it. They know that one PM’s wife just delivered a baby and they will talk about staying up all night with a crying infant. They know that another of our guys likes classic rock and the reps will chat him up about The Eagles or The Stones.

Small-talk is expected and a vendor rep has no choice but to engage in it. Those who do it better than others are likely more successful. But why are donuts the universal calling card of vendors? In this obesity-obsessed, saturated fat conscious culture, you'd think the donut's day was done. I've hated donuts since childhood. If I were a vendor’s rep, I’d show up with sushi. Or tickets to the classic rock concert for the guy who's into that.

And why is golf the universal business pastime? Why are deals supposedly made on the golf course? I have never golfed, don't want to golf, can't afford golf and pretty much hate most of the golfers I've ever known. If I were a vendor’s rep, I’d take my clients to the disc golf course.