There is No Medium Where They Won't Find You

Today's Cool is Tomorrow's Retro

HighJive pointed out in the last edition of this comic what I couldn't figure out about my hack Photoshop work; that Major Mike Adams looked as though he was standing in a trench. So now he's seated to deliver another lesson to the always attentive Credenza Brothers.

Surely by now you've figured this part out; that when you click the image, it becomes legible.

Stats Don't Lie: People Like Smut

...even if it's fairly tame, juvenile smut from the late 1930s.

Just glanced at my blog analytics. It appears the Land O' Lakes Butter Trick is making the rounds again. By midday I had double my normal number of visitors, (mostly from Indiana, Ohio and Michigan) all headed for the Flashing Indian Maiden.










Now, what I need to do is "maximize the experience" for these first-time visitors, get them in "the buying cycle," and provide a "consumer experience" that "engages" them, allowing them to "interact" with my "brand." I must figure out a way to somehow "monetize" this "word of mouth" trend.

Guess I'm going to have to start offering ironic T-shirts or something.

No offense to Bill Green of Make the Logo Bigger, but the coveted Bill Bump can't compare to the accidental viral of a topless Native American.

Analytics: Revealing a Sickness

On one of my other sites, there's a page that references "sex, drugs and rock and roll." This same page also contains the word "children" buried among 4,000 other words. I guess I shouldn't be surprised when people arrive at that page after searching "sex with children." Bunch of disturbed SOBs out there sitting at computers.

Here's yesterday's top five search terms that landed people at "Where's My Jetpack?" Saturdays are low traffic days, but people still need to find their jetpacks and crack cookies over the weekend. Also still popular: direct linking to the Land O' Lakes post via Mac forums and porn sites.

Social Media - It's About Porn

I learned a lesson about Social Media today. Porn links drive your blog traffic through the roof.

Steve Hall of AdRants linked to the Land O' Lakes trick. (Steve, you don't cut the knees off. That's barbaric. You remove the box of butter the Indian Maiden holds and put the same picture behind her - there are two on every box.) This little courtesy made for much higher than normal visits to Where's My Jetpack. Steve is a fairly big fish in the ad blogging world.

But then some naughty bloggers who are apparently the sperm whales of the blogging world got wind of Steve's post and linked to here from Fleshbot, which sent traffic to this blog into the uncharted stratosphere, where the buzz is fast and fleeting. I'll be back down in normal numbers very soon, my brief and dizzying venture into what really drives traffic these days a memory. Actually, not just these days. Always. As Fleshbot puts it: "Because the Internet was made for porn."

So , all you Social Media Evangelists, it's time to get racy. Tell your clients they need to blog nasty.