The Onion - Not Trying to Be Viral - Just Doing It

Consistently better comedy than you'll find on TV - and now it's coming to TV January 21st on IFC, the Independent Film Channel. Hope that doesn't kill the mojo.

It's like Mad Magazine for adults, The Onion almost always does great humor, the kind you pass around to friends, making it....oh what's that word everyone wants to be...ah yes, VIRAL! But too many marketers don't understand that you can't just "make" a viral item, be it a video, cartoon, image or whatever. It has to have a reason to be viral, like humor or thought or intrigue. And all too often someone's idea of what should be viral is not the public's idea. If you try too hard you won't succeed. Remember that old phrase they tried to kick to the curb, "Content is King?" It's true.

There are agencies out there that will claim they can create viral buzz for your brand. Most of the time, they can get all their employees to tweet and blog about something they did for your brand, and they might bump you up the Digg rankings, but in the end a media push gets sniffed out and people don't fall for it. Here's a guy writing a column about how to create a viral buzz. The first commenter comes along and nails it: viral just happens, you don't create it. Yeah, that's what I said.

See below for a good example of what could be viral, at least for a two-day stretch in late November in the US.

Guinness Denounced the Ad, Embraces the Notoriety

I saw a Guinness ad during a football game and went looking for it on YouTube and on the Guinness site. Couldn't find it. Nicely shot close-up from an in-the-glass perspective of beer being poured, but with a lame and taunting tagline that said something to the effect of "Maybe it's not for you." You're right, Guinness. It's not for me. And your attempt to make me feel like I'm not worthy of your beer didn't work. You're not the Marines. You're a thick beer. If I want to feel as though I've ingested a loaf of dark bread I'll just toss some pumpernickel in a blender with a couple shots of whiskey and get the same effect. But in my searching for this ad I think I may have uncovered a little bit of "wink-wink, we're so naughty" on the part of Guinness.

You may remember a couple years ago when some director released what he called a "banned Guinness ad." It was a spec piece, hoping to catch the attention of the Irish brew maker. It was during those naïve days of the late summer of '08, when the words "banned commercial" on your upload were a sure ticket to viral success, back before people realized there was no such thing as a banned commercial. It caught plenty of attention, but mostly from angry people who objected to the objectification of women. In the ad, a woman is used as a human coaster, her body gently rocking back and forth. We see only her mid-section while three separate hands reach for the bottle, presumably take a swig, then return it to her undulating form, the bottle staying balanced in the small of her back. Clearly she's supposed to be in the throes of a four-way, though she appears lifeless and limp.* Guinness and its agency were very quick to denounce the ad, saying,

Guinness is in no way associated with this video, and approached YouTube to have it removed. We are proud of our brands, and our commitment to responsible marketing, and this is not how we want our brand portrayed.

Fine. Nice job. Appropriate PR move. Nevermind that the ad is back on YouTube, with 1.5 million views this time around.

Also, nevermind that for sale at the Guinness store for $25 is the CD, "Music From the TV Ads." The cover art, with its pronounced line of beauty S-shape, bears a striking resemblance to the shape prominently featured in the "banned" spot.

I'm sure Guinness will claim this is merely the top of the harp that serves as their logo.

* Which reminds me of a joke. Use your mouse to highlight the invisible text below.

What's the difference between spaghetti and a sorority girl?

Spaghetti moves when you eat it. 

Pros! Shoot Like an Amateur!

Clicking allows maximization. Print on shitty paper for authenticity, then hang it on the bulletin board of the coffee-break area in your dying production studio.

Your Claims of "Viral" Are Falling on Deaf Eyes

I won't even give this video the benefit of an embedded view because the execution behind the attempt is so transparent. Not that the idea is so awful. Guy finds image of Burger King on his Big Mac bun. Cute.

It is introduced to me in an email that has all the markings of blog spam: "Hey, longtime fan of your blog and thought you might be interested in this. I keep seeing this video in a bunch of places and wondered what you thought. Funny stuff."

Whether or not BK is ultimately behind this doesn't even bother me. I doubt they are and this is probably someone's attempt to get some viral cred that they can put on their reel as they knock on doors to try to find a job.  "We did this hilarious thing for BK that just blew up on YouTube!"

This one, like most of them, has the forced acting by amatuers who happened to have their cameras out as they were eating lunch at McDonald's. It is uploaded by a guy who, SURPRISE, has only ever uploaded one video - and it's this one. If my YouTube user name is jakeskatesf, I will likely have at least a few vids of myself skating, or doing bong hits, or hanging out at the beach, especially if I'm the kind of guy whose camera is so a part of me that I have it out while at lunch with my friends. And the people who think Jake's video is awesome, their profiles have ZERO uploads. These are what's known in the business as "fake plants pretending to like your faked stupid video." One of them comments on Jake's video that "Damn dude! This BK thing is blowin' up!" Uh, not really.

Good viral happens, it isn't seeded or trying to be "authentic." You can't PR your way to success through fake email accounts with "check this funny thing out I found" messages. And what really ticks most of us off are the lengths you will go to to make it seem as though you are just some Joe or Jake who made a video, creating fake profiles and seeding comments. At least have another couple videos on your channel to hide the fact that you created the channel for the sole purpose of promoting your little stunt that you hope gets noticed by CP+B.

Or just be honest and put it on your real channel with the explanation, "I need a job and so I did this thing to get noticed by someone." That would be far more digestible than what you're up to now.

Seriously, Man, You and Me, We're Done Professionally

Another Viral Example Brands Can't Duplicate

Take something topical, like say, a spoiled actor screaming at length at a production guy for "trashing my scene" and set the audio to dance music. Instant hit. 2 million views on YouTube in a matter of days, with many of those viewers following the link to the MySpace page of RevoLucian, a producer from LA, (real name: Lucian Piane) who is making a name for himself by taking the captured, candid audio moments of celebrities and turning them into lyrics for his mixes. He's skewered Bill O'Reilly, Barbara Streisand, Sarah Palin and the "Don't Taze Me Bro" guy.

RevoLucian is not signed to a label, but everyone loves his stuff now. He says he's producing RuPaul's new CD, but that's not much of a calling card. Being able to say, "I created the Christian Bale Dance Remix" however, should open a few doors.

Why is Mr. Piane's Bale remix a hit? It's topical, for one. It's also funny and smart. And it actually happened. It's Batman (fucking) losing it. And now it's a dance remix. I can see this song being played in clubs, with the main lyric, "What don't you fuckin' understand?" being shouted out on the dance floor. Piane's viral is now a resume maker.

Bale ranted and Piane struck while the topic was hot. Now he's got the momentum to take his work (his "brand" if you will) to loftier places. But few people care to see what a brand's professional production team has deemed "viral." Ray Ban got some views for their glasses catching guys, but that video got as much negative press for trying too hard and being smug as it did for being clever.

I stand by the maxim: Good viral just happens.

Let's Put You in a Holiday Mood

Just as "Rudolph" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" get airplay every year, you should also put this video on your seasonal Holiday Watch List. (Charlie Brown is depressing. That boy needs medication. Or at least hit his dad's liquor cabinet.) This holiday classic is from a few years ago, but like all the great holiday films, it still sets the tone for a wonderful yuletide.

I wrote more extensively about this very virile viral video last year.



See more of Chris Christmas Rodriquez here.

Colored Spectacles

I broke my Randolph Engineering sunglasses this morning, and that’s not a good thing. They were pretty nice, issued to the military since the early 80s. Solid, timelessly stylish and one of those icons known only to a relative few. Unless you've been around the military, you've likely not heard of them. Randolph doesn't advertise. They don't need to. They have a government contract that keeps them pretty happy. They’re like Ray Bans for people who don’t want to be seen sporting the Ray Ban logo. (Even if it is a timeless and fairly cool logo.)

I’ve never owned a pair of Ray Bans on principle, but I went to their barely functioning website (at least it hates Firefox) and was amused by this take on the whole “mirror image” thing every web designer has been over-employing for the last four years. Generally, the designer will flip the duplicated image vertically, draw back the opacity and then fade the reflection away at the bottom. At Ray Ban, they instead flip it horizontally and place it right under the original. Odd.

ANYWAY…Didn’t mean to diss you, Ray Ban. Send me a crate of every style and color of sunglasses you offer and I will wear a different pair every day and blog about them. I will surrender my blog to Ray Ban for as long as it takes me to wear all of your glasses, reviewing each pair and finally selecting the ones that I like. The leftover pairs will be given to homeless men on the streets of Orlando, along with Never Hide^® t-shirts. I’ll take their pictures and we can do some sort of crazy viral thing that makes Ray Ban look concerned for homeless people who need sunglasses.

A Gruesome Butchering

The payoff is worth the 3 minute wait.

¿Quién es Más Macho?

A Holiday Lesson on Viral

Before video links passed between friends and coworkers were known as "viral," and before people started trying to "monetize" those videos, we just passed stuff around (if we had the bandwidth) and watched them and laughed. (Agency Spy makes a great point: No one "creates viral videos." They either go viral or they don't. Most of the ones attempting to "be viral" simply disappear. I think I hear the sweet sound of a bursting bubble.)

Here's something that's seven years old, but still has that WTF quality that makes it worth seeing again. From London based Mother, where I want to work. (From Florida, of course, telecommuting. I will be happy to make monthly trips to London for meetings and pints.)



Anytime you put a 70s macho guy in polyester and play cheesy music behind him, then have him do something unexpected, it's comedy to me.

And why is this video still viral (resurrected every Christmas by various ad bloggers) seven years after it was produced?

1. It never tried to be viral.
2. It's not selling anything other than the agency behind it.
3. It's original.
4. It's funny.
   
5. It wasn't created by a "new media agency" who tried to flood the world with it.
6. An old lady gets kicked in the head by a guy who fell out of the fireplace and wears his jacket like a cape. Find a client who will let you do that.

See more of Chris Christmas Rodriquez here.

Stats Don't Lie: People Like Smut

...even if it's fairly tame, juvenile smut from the late 1930s.

Just glanced at my blog analytics. It appears the Land O' Lakes Butter Trick is making the rounds again. By midday I had double my normal number of visitors, (mostly from Indiana, Ohio and Michigan) all headed for the Flashing Indian Maiden.










Now, what I need to do is "maximize the experience" for these first-time visitors, get them in "the buying cycle," and provide a "consumer experience" that "engages" them, allowing them to "interact" with my "brand." I must figure out a way to somehow "monetize" this "word of mouth" trend.

Guess I'm going to have to start offering ironic T-shirts or something.

No offense to Bill Green of Make the Logo Bigger, but the coveted Bill Bump can't compare to the accidental viral of a topless Native American.