There's a Sucker Clicking a Link Every Minute

Got a DM on Twitter last night from someone I follow (and fairly trust) that said, "Hey! Did you really say this?" followed by a link. Now, since I say a lot of things out here, I thought, "Hmmmm, wonder what I said?" And then guess what I did? Yes, I clicked that link and I found myself at an odd and suspect site and quickly backed out. Too late. Awoke this morning to the shame of a bunch of DMs and @s informing me of my idiocy.

So, rest assured my password has been changed, (which sucks - I liked that password) and hopefully I am not on too many lists marked "dimwitted assholes never to be trusted again."

And just yesterday I was snarkily and smugly mocking spammers and the like, never having been the dumb one to fall for there stupidly transparent schemes. I thought I was better than that. Well, I have been duped, (and don't say "karma" - karma doesn't work for spammers and hackers) but rather than blame a bottle of Clos Du Bois 2006 Cabernet for my error, I will blame my own vain curiosity for wanting to know what I had said somewhere that seemingly offended someone out there on this great big stupid Internet.

Lessons:
Never click a link in a DM
Don't care what people think.

Spammy Banners Will Get Us Out of This Mess

A quick scan of my spam folder this morning and I find some fun subject lines:

"Nothing beats a huge stick"
"See your organ increase right before your eyes"
"The lady will love your monster snake pants."
"Donation from Mrs Sarah Dandr"


You probably don't know Sarah Dandr. She's from "Serbian." and has a "longtime cancer of the breast." Long, sad story. but she's a widow now with a ton of money and she needs my help. As soon as I finish this blog post, I'm sending her my bank account information. And I believe her, too, as she signed her letter to me "Yours in Christ."

And today I was checking this here blog, looking at some of the banners I have allowed to appear. I note I'm starting to get some big name sponsors like Netflix and Progressive Insurance. It's an awesome program, Google's ad thing, and since I started allowing ads on here, I've made $100, which over the life of this blog, averages out to about a nickel a day.

But when you're creating ads, do you think you might employ a proofreader; one who speaks English? My readers expect better than this ad to your left. I feel like I'm being approached by a fast talking, shady dude on the streets of Tijuana with this ad. Maybe I'm supposed to read that headline and think, "Wow, exotic. Love how she phrased that. I can hear her hot accent already."

I've always said the Internet is the Wild West, the new Frontier, where it's wide open to everyone, from Sarah in Serbia to Latin Beauties, every man and woman for him/herself. Everyone hoping to make a dollar, a euro, a peso or pound. I guess there's room for headlines like "Seeking For Latin Beauty?" Actually, I should expect more of them and welcome them. It gives the blog an international feel. We're all in this together, Sarah, this chick above, you, me. So click those banners people; shop and travel. The world economy ain't gonna fix itself.

There is No Medium Where They Won't Find You

Blast Fax From the Past

The Owl Says, "Who...re!"

Seems to be an increase in the number of people trying to get you to go to questionable sites via Twitter. They follow you with links to "NSFW" links, and then they quickly get their accounts suspended, Twitter offering up the following message:

"Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity."

which they accompany with his image of the Twitter Owl, who knows a spamming whore when he finds one.

Still You Need Some Graphic Seance

Thanks, "Andy". You make blogging fun. Let me guess: you are in Affiliate Marketing?

Be Sure Your Spam Will Find You Out

I don't remember signing up to follow Bobbi-Jo Frazier on Twitter, but I'll be sure to remove her now.

Attention, Bobbi-Jo: You're doing it wrong. You're going to kill Twitter with this type of tweet. If you get ANY business from this method of soliciting your "friends," I will write a blog post on your success as a Twitter marketer.

I don't expect to have to write that blog post.

You Have Left Your Mind

Familiar with the Left Behind series? It's a collection of pseudo-scripture written by a pair of charlatans loosely based on the last book of the Christian bible (and a word or two from Paul's letters). Those two goblins are astoundingly rich now that their books have been devoured by so many people too busy to read their bibles or talk with their God.

The premise of these books is this: All the Jesus people are taken away in The Rapture and the rest of the earthlings are left behind on the planet to suffer horrible things. Do you want to escape the horrible things? Then get yourself right with God and do it quickly. Because scaring people into loving God and doing Right (wing) is very effective. It is also a huge money-maker.

Problem with The Rapture theory is that it is pure and utter fiction created in the mid-1800s by an Irishman named John Darby. It was very easy to sell to Americans, because even then Americans were much as they are today; easy to swindle, afraid of hard times, mostly unacquainted with large-scale suffering and looking for the easy way out.

If you are a Christian and you're disagreeing with me on this, let me ask you this: Did Jesus say he was returning? OK, then how many times will he return? First time in secret, second time in the clouds for all to see? Also, I know you like to justify and support your escapism theology with passages like, "God has not appointed us unto wrath." (I love it when you speak in the King James. It makes you sound so Holy.) So maybe you can quote that phrase to the persecuted churches in Afghanistan, Egypt, Libya, Somalia, Algeria, Eritrea, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Azerbaijan, Ethiopia, Maldives, Sudan, Bangladesh, Gaza and the West Bank, Philippines, Syria, Belarus, India, Mauritania, Tajikistan, Bhutan, Indonesia, Morocco, Tibet, Brunei, Iran, Nepal, Tunisia, Myanmar, Iraq, Nigeria, Turkey, Jordan, North Korea, Turkmenistan, China, Kuwait, Oman, United Arab Emirates, Colombia, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Comoros, Laos, Qatar, Vietnam, Cuba, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia and Yemen. You've got it pretty good here and know nothing of "wrath."

Why am I wasting my energy? Go to Wal-Mart and get the latest book in your series. Maybe you can pay for Tim LaHaye's next facelift.

ANYWAY, (I get worked up on this subject) some total tools have set up a website that will send out email alerts to those who get Left Behind! How cool! So after the world's Christians suddenly vanish, everyone can get emails saying, "You've been Left Behind! We are in Heaven and you are going to suffer some horrible shit! There's still hope! Forward this email to ten friends and throw some salt over your shoulder while spinning around in a circle thrice. Then, don't eat for 10 days and abstain from sex and maybe God will let you come join us after you get raped, tortured and killed by the Antichrist and his Army of Satan Worshipers. Bye! Love ya! Peace! :)" Spam from Heaven. And this service will only cost you $40 a year. I don't know who's behind this website, but they need to...not gonna say it.

I wish I had hacking skills.

The Boss Wants to Meet About Your Amazing Tool

We shouldn't look down on spammers. We can learn from them. They are really nothing less than marketers trying new ways to get you to act. And they try so hard.

The taunting email subject lines suggesting that my "schlong" "tool" or "P3n1s" should be 3 feet in length haven't been successful in getting me to open the emails. So now the spammers have a new tack.

There's a meeting with the boss! And of course Jimi's birthday is coming up.

Here are today's spams with that theme.

Relevance: It's a Beautiful Thing

I know we can't control the idiots, but I'd encourage all bloggers to delete comments that have NOTHING to do with your post. These neo-spammers take the time to get past your word verification thingy, and yet they still give you their generic pasted bullshit like:

"Nice blog. I really like it. Please visit my blog."

I understand that one of the ways to drive traffic to your site is to comment on other blogs, but you can't treat other blogs as bulletin boards for your own blog or website. Say something that actually pertains to the post or contributes in some way to the conversation. Quit being stupid, please.