We'll Stop When Someone Sues. Meantime, We SELL!

Kim, You Are a Fat Liar

Kim's Diet Plan (dot com). You know Kim - or at least you know her big gut spilling over the top of her too-tight-pants. She's a marketer of the first order, which is to say she is a Grade-A Liar. Actually, I'd be surprised if Kim is a real person at all.


In a very clever move, a visit to Kim's site records your IP so that in the first paragraph of her introduction to how she's going to scrape the walls of your colon, Kim claims:

My name is Kim and I wanted to share my weight loss story with you. I’m no medical guru or anything like that. I’m just a mom who lives in [your town] who figured out a system that works better than all the famous diets...

No matter where you live, that's where Kim lives, too.

Kimmy, Kimmy. I'm disappointed in you and proud of you at the same time.

(Note: Kim's Diet Plan should not be confused with Kim Jong Il's Diet Plan.)

Grab a Shovel in the Shovel Ready Economy

Don't despair, out of work citizens. There are infrastructure jobs for the taking at Infrastructure-Jobs.com, or so this banner ad would have you believe. You'll be building bridges and highways and windmills and solar panels and electric cars and housing for the evicted people. Gonna be a fun time in the world very shortly. This is only one of many helpful sites where friendly marketers are setting up link farms to a bunch of other places, their white spaces crammed with Google AdWords ads.

But it's better than it used to be, or so I hear. In the olden days, when your grandparents and great-grandparents were out of work and looking for "infrastructure jobs," they didn't have some fancy websites where they could pick and choose. They just went down to the government shack by the vegetable stand near the railroad tracks and stood in line for seven days. When they finally got to the window, some mean government employee handed them a piece of paper and said, "Hop the next train to Reno and find a Mr. Williams. He will put you to work. You will be given one bacon fat sandwich per day and a ration of water. Job pays 25¢ a week. And if you don't want the job, you lazy bastard, there's 500 people behind you that do. And bring your own shovel, numb nuts."

The government shack was also adorned with encouraging posters. This was before we realized what was happneing in Europe; when we shared with the Nazis a mutual love for scary patriotic slogans, militaristic fonts and workers depicted as robotic wards of the state.

Still You Need Some Graphic Seance

Thanks, "Andy". You make blogging fun. Let me guess: you are in Affiliate Marketing?

Get Rich Telling People How to Get Rich

I'm not familiar with this happy-looking rich dad, but he's apparently some sort of Tony Robbins and he's going to teach you how to be rich, like him.

Well, he won't, but one of his lieutenants will.

Note the sad fine print: "Robert Kiyosaki will not be in attendance."

Relevance: It's a Beautiful Thing

I know we can't control the idiots, but I'd encourage all bloggers to delete comments that have NOTHING to do with your post. These neo-spammers take the time to get past your word verification thingy, and yet they still give you their generic pasted bullshit like:

"Nice blog. I really like it. Please visit my blog."

I understand that one of the ways to drive traffic to your site is to comment on other blogs, but you can't treat other blogs as bulletin boards for your own blog or website. Say something that actually pertains to the post or contributes in some way to the conversation. Quit being stupid, please.