Much Abuzz About Nothing

Coffee must feel really cheated right now. It was once the only (legal) thing we ingested to give us a little kick start. Now we have energy drinks, energy shots, energy pills and thanks to a really dumb idea over at Nestlé, we also have Butterfinger Buzz, "with as much caffeine as the leading energy drink."
Here's Butterfinger's stupid microsite promoting the product, with a bunch of idiots getting their heads shaved (or "buzzed!" - get it?) so they can paint the Butterfinger Buzz logo on their skulls. Are you a fan of Butterfinger Buzz on Facebook yet? Will you attend the Butterfinger Buzz Event in NYC this Thursday and get your head shaved? And be sure to follow Butterfinger Buzz on Twitter!!!

And don't forget the Butterfinger Comedy Network, a place for doomed comedians to hone their skills at this dying performing art.

April 1^st of last year saw the fake relaunch of Butterfinger as just "The Finger." Ha-ha! April Fool's! We're so funny.

A candy bar loaded with caffeine. F-ing genius! "Screw you, coffee! I can get the same feeling from this candy bar that also has 460 calories!"

All of this effort is being put forth for a product that is "limited - while supplies last." A gimmick for the sake of being gimmicky. Buzz. Get people talking. Get them to shave their heads and sport your logo.

You are trying way too hard, Nestlé. It's a candy bar, not a lifestyle.

Whiskers is Such a Romantic

As a follow up to last week's entry about The Tuscan Trend^™ (TTT^™), I can now without question state that Americans are serious suckers for anything named "Tuscan."

It's not enough anymore that your food, drink, home or apartment be Tuscanized, now your cat gets to eat Tuscan style.

Thank you, Fancy Feast^®. (A Purina^® product, which is a Nestlé^® company.)

With apologies to the mental health community and the mentally challenged, this nation is now officially retarded.